>George Carlin

>Baseball is played in a field. A field named after a bank. Citi Field. How quaint.

Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball ends in September when you blow a seven game lead. Oops. We lost again!

Football begins in September and the season continues until the very last day when the New York Giants are named champions.

In baseball we ignore the New York Giants and pretend they never existed.

And in the words of George, the closer:

In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his recievers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! “I hope I’ll be safe at home!”


Rest in peace George, you shall be missed.

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