Posted on by Shannon Shark @metspolice

Mets Police Morning Laziness: I think maybe Keith Hernandez DID get married

So this Keith Hernandez Married thing fascinates me.  Right now I think he DID get married over the weekend, as this appears to be a marriage license.

I am equally fascinated that there’s supposedly a bunch of beat reporters who cover the team, not to mention Keith works for SNY which runs Formerly Metsblog, and yet a guy in sweatpants (me) is the only person other than Maggie Haberman who has this story?  Hustle!

I can understand if Keith wanted to keep things quiet, but once it’s in the New York Times and Donald Trump is congratulating you, it’s a little above the radar.

Some have observed the name on the certificate appears to be that of Keith’s now formerly ex-wife.  That is the version of the story I have, assuming the version of the story I have is correct, but again I am just some dumb blogger so who knows if my version is correct?

Meanwhile, if Matt Harvey did this…

Matt is not doing that. Matt knows that when you’re an unsigned free agent you should spend every moment working out and watching game films and focusing on your career, not attending sporting events willy-nilly.

I think Todd is a mastermind.  He knows that I do not make fun of children and that I don’t include anyone’s family in my rascally jokes.  I think Todd has included a child or family in every Instagram post since the season ended.  Todd, can’t you take a picture of yourself with Joe Piscopo watching The Sopranos so I can do my thing?

SLACKISH REACTION:  Let us all hope cooler heads prevail today and we don’t enter World War III.  There is no Mets news.

The blood drive mentioned below is TODAY

I wish someone had told me the Shark & Goon podcast was going to be daily.  I didn’t know that was the plan.  At some point we’ll run out of stuff, no?  Does Goon even promote this thing?  Why do I bother?