Posted on by Shannon Shark @metspolice

Mets Police Morning Laziness: fire Beltran? Heck no…lets CHEAT MORE!!!!

SLACKISH REACTION:   I have changed my tune and am now very excited that Inexperienced Carlos Beltran is the Mets manager, and here’s why:  Baseball has taught me to be PRO-CHEATING.

If I told you right now that the Mets can win the 2020 World Series, but the punishment will be that in 2023 both Wags and Beltran are fired, and maybe the Wilpons have to pay a fine, which one of us would not sign up for that in a heartbeat?

I hope Carlos is as good at cheating as he seems to be, and they he brings Advanced Cheatalytics to Queens so that we can cheat our way to a championship.   I was a teenager when they last won and now I am in my 50s!!! Enough’s enough.  Hand the T-Shirt people some garbage cans and let’s win this thing.

#MORECHEATING!!

Hey remember when our beloved GM introduced Carlos Beltran and gave his 5 reasons why….the second reason given was that Carlos is Trustworthy!  Great job as always boss!

The Big Zero had this to say about all this..speaking about Cora here…

Speaking of The Big Zero, I keep thinking about what I wrote over the weekend and how he makes more $ than Thor.  I get how Arbitration works but  it seems wrong.  But what really seems wrong is how comparatively little Lugo and Gazelle Man are getting because they are doing God’s Work in the bullpen instead of getting to start every 5th day which they both are capable of doing.  If you didn’t read Saturday’s Morning Laziness on all this, do so now.

Anyway, remember Cheaters Never Prosper – except the value of their assets skyrockets, they make money form increased ticket sales, the ratings on their RSN go up, they get to appear in more advertising, they win MVPs, and they get hired as managers for millions of dollars.   MORE CHEATING!!!!!  Why wouldn’t you cheat?  You’re stupid if you don’t cheat!

Man, all the people upset about this are going to be so devastated when they find out what went down with 2019’s home run statistics.  But that’s a story for another time.

….

List of things baseball has an issue with:

The 2017 World Champions

The All Time Home Run King

The Season Home Run King

The Hit King

The Guy With 350 Wins

The Man Who Saved Baseball

The Man Who Also Saved Baseball and got a ticker tape parade in New York City which I still cannot believe happened.