Matt Harvey pitched in Miami. How did he do? You’ll look!

The Dark Knight returned as he always did, and the Orioles announcers who I think are named Bo and Luke (how far south IS Baltimore??) were very excited about these stats.

The Orioles spotted Matty Baseball to a 3 run lead and he’s looking confident!

With one out, Matt gave up one of those pesky doub….oh wait…

….its a clown show out there and the runner will make it all the way to third!

How does Matt do with runners on base?  Followers of my blog know the answer.

A single and now it’s 3-1!

And UH OH………

….no HE MADE THE CATCH!

and Matt Harvey is pleased!

Whew.  On to the second.

Now look at the picture below.   See all the humans?  That’s a lot of humans, isn’t it?   Some of them are Marlins, because the 7 and 8 hitters got back to back hits.

Fortunately for TDK the NL doesn’t DH…so Don Mattingly has his pitcher, who I think is Dennis DeYoung the singer from Styx, bunt….of course that’s stupid and now there are 2 out and then 3 out.  Dumb.  Should have let Mr. Roboto swing the bat.

On to the third.  Two Orioles Guys hit HRs so Matt has a FOUR run lead now.  No way he blows that.

In the third…some balls on bats and some suspect gloves leads to two on with one out…but TDK strikes out the next two batters and looks at the camera as if to tell a fat blogger to STFU

Matt you did throw like seven hundred pitches that inning but OK bro, on to the 4th where The Real Deal has a 6-1 lead.  Not much to tell you – shoddy defense gets a runner on but Matt wipes it out with a DP (Matt probably loves a good DP) and then another K.

Even the most cynical Matt Harvey watcher, which by the way is me, must admit that he’s better with Baltimore than he was with KC.  He’s like “first half of the Anaheim season” shaky now.  But remember that season ended with a trip to Salt Lake and being left off the Las Vegas 51s playoff roster.  While making $11,000,000.

On to the 5th….

And suddenly there are two on.

Somebody (a Marlin, who cares) hits a ground ball to SS and the Orioles SS has the range of @mediagoon out there and what should be an out scores a run and MH does not look happy about it.

And here’s Matt’s worst nightmare…just one out to go and a Mound Visit!

Look at Matt’s face.  He’s like Jeepers Christmas, what do I have to do?

Matt listened to the great advice and did what he was told.  It’s a ground ball to SS and this time Stone Feet moves and makes the play.  Matt is through 5!

But seriously, he looks exhausted.  Like no schtick, he looks reallllly exhausted.  Like way more than he should.

Why don’t you have lungs Matt?  You know I am always suspicious.  I AM SUSPICUOUS.  WHY ARE YOU OUT OF BREATH?

Anyway, the Orioles batted for him.

5 innings, 3 runs all earned, zero walks, 4Ks on EIGHT hits.  Now some of those “hits” were because of possibly the worst defense I have ever seen, so even I will stick up for Matt.

Anyway, hopefully the Orioles hold on, Matt would probably like to hit South Beach tonight.  There is a burrito place he likes.  Hurry this up.

I will update the post once the game is final or when I wake up in the morning to tell you what happened.

Update: the Orioles hung on and Matt got his win! Burritos for everyone!