INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Steve: I’ve cracked the code, Jerry! The secret to marketing is going viral!
Jerry: (skeptical) Oh really? And how did you figure that out?
Steve: Look at Grimace! And don’t forget about “OMG” – it’s everywhere!
Elaine: (entering the conversation) What’s going on?
Jerry: Steve here thinks he’s cracked the marketing code. He wants the Mets to go viral.
Elaine: (smirking) Well, they’re already pretty good at spreading disappointment. Does that count?
Jerry: (deadpan) How about you have Mr. Met streak across the field?
Elaine: (laughing) Or maybe you could have the players wear their uniforms backwards for a game?
Steve: (considering) Hmm, that’s not bad…
Kramer: Why don’t you have someone already famous on the internet throw out the first pitch? That way you get to take advantage of their social media crossing over into your social media.
Steve: That’s not a bad idea. Who do you suggest?
Kramer: You know, that girl… Hailey Welch! She’s huge on social media!
[Jerry looks confused but doesn’t say anything]
INT. CITI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Steve: (to his marketing team) I want Hailey Welch to throw the first pitch next game!
Marketing Manager who was recently hyped up in a press release: (hesitant) Uh, Steve, are you sure that’s a good idea?
Steve: Of course it is! She’s famous, isn’t she? Chad, make sure we promote the heck out of this on social media.
Chad the social media intern: Sure thing Mr. Steve! Hailey Welch, I will look her up and get some images made.
Marketing Manager: (hesitant) Steve, are you sure that’s the best choice? Maybe we should consider…
Steve: (interrupting) Of course it’s the best choice! She’s famous, isn’t she? It’ll go viral!
[The team exchanges worried glances]
Steve: (turning to the ticket reps) Speaking of which, how are ticket sales going for the game?
Ticket Rep: (excitedly) Actually, we’re expecting a great turnout!
Steve: (pleased) Excellent! See? People are excited about Hailey Welch!
Ticket Rep: (nervously) Well, not exactly, sir. We’ve got a lot of summer camps coming for the weekday day game. There should be a good number of children in attendance.
Steve: This is perfect! The kids will love it. They’re all on social media, right? They’ll make it go viral for sure!
Ticket Rep: (hesitantly) Sir, I’m not sure the children are familiar with…
Steve: (interrupting again) It doesn’t matter! Famous is famous. This is going to be great for our image. OMG, am I right?
[The marketing team and ticket reps exchange worried looks]
INT. CITI FIELD – GAME DAY
Young Girl: Dad, who is that lady?
Dad: (awkwardly) Uh… she’s… famous for… being famous on the internet, sweetie.
Chad: (pumping his fist) Yes! It’s going viral already!
[Suddenly, the office phone rings. Chad answers it.]
Chad: Mets social media, this is Chad speaking!
[His face drops as he listens to the voice on the other end]
Chad: (panicking) What do you mean, “wrong image”? I… oh no. Oh no no no…
[He looks back at his computer screen, his eyes widening in horror as he realizes his mistake.]
INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – LATER
[Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and Steve are gathered in the living room]
Jerry: I can’t believe it. A five-run lead against the A’s, and they still managed to lose. The Mets really know how to blow a game… in more ways than one.
Steve: (defensive and flustered) It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know the bullpen would implode like that?
Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh, I don’t know, Steve. Maybe because it happens every other game?
Steve: (getting worked up) You think this is easy? I’m trying my best here! Kramer what kind of websites are you even on?
Kramer: (with his typical enthusiastic, slightly manic energy) It’s like a whole other world out there, Jerry. A digital frontier where anything is possible!
Jerry: (deadpan) So, you’re on Reddit.
Kramer: (deflating slightly) Well… yeah. But it’s the good parts of Reddit!
Jerry: Lighten up. It’s not like you dropped 2 out of 3 to a team that doesn’t even have a home city.
Steve: (throwing his hands up) What am I supposed to do? Go out there and pitch myself?
Kramer: (excited) Now that’s an idea! “Owner Takes the Mound” – it’d be a great publicity stunt!
Elaine: Maybe you should rename the bullpen the “Blow-pen.”
Jerry: It is on brand with the marketing.
Steve: you know, it would get people talking….
