The Jerseys

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT  

Jerry: So what’s this about new jerseys?

Steve: (excited) Yes! We’re completely redesigning them!

Jerry: But why? Everything was going so well.

Steve: (confused) Well?

Jerry: Yeah, people were happy with the Grimace and the third wild card…

Elaine: And Soto.

Jerry: (nodding) And Soto. The road jerseys were perfect.  Why would you mess with the road jerseys?

Steve: (leaning forward) Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… you don’t understand marketing.

Jerry: What’s to understand? The jerseys were fine.

Steve: (smirking) Exactly! They were fine. But you know what fine doesn’t do?

Elaine: Win games?

Steve: (ignoring her) Fine doesn’t sell new jerseys! Think about it – every fan already has our current jersey. But if we change them…

Jerry: (realizing) They have to buy new ones.

Steve: Now you’re getting it!

[Kramer bursts in wearing a prototype of the new jersey]

Kramer: These are gorgeous! And they come with a special QR code that lets you order McDonald’s right to your seat!

Steve: (proud) See? Innovation!

Jerry: So you’re changing perfectly good uniforms just to sell more merchandise?

Steve: (standing) Jerry, do you know how many jerseys we sold after signing Soto?

Jerry: A lot?

Steve: Exactly! And now all those people need new ones! It’s brilliant!

Chad, the Mets social media intern

[Chad the social media intern calls Steve]

Chad: Mr. Steve! The jersey announcement tweet just hit 100,000 likes! And people are already complaining!

Steve: (excited) Perfect! Controversy creates cash!

Jerry: (to Elaine) Remember when baseball teams just tried to win games?

 

The Mets Police
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