The Phone Call

INT. MONK’S CAFE – DAY

Jerry and Steve are in their usual booth. Steve is fidgeting with his phone, looking distressed.

JERRY: (noticing Steve’s distress) What’s the matter with you?

STEVE: He didn’t call.

JERRY:  Who didn’t call?

STEVE:  Him.

JERRY:  Ohtani?

STEVE: Ohtani never called, Jerry. He was supposed to call me about joining the Mets!

JERRY: (puzzled) Did you call him?

STEVE: (exasperated) That’s not how it works in baseball, Jerry! He’s supposed to call me. It’s a respect thing.

JERRY:  A respect thing.

STEVE:  A respect thing!  He calls me, I give him money.  That’s how it works Jerry.


INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – LATER

Kramer bursts in,.

STEVE: It’s a disaster, Jerry! Ohtani signed with another team!

KRAMER: (excitedly) Ohtani? Shohei Ohtani? The two-way sensation?

STEVE: (frustrated) Yes, Kramer, the very one. He never called, and now he’s gone!

KRAMER: (speculating) Maybe he lost your number.

STEVE: (sarcastically) Oh, sure. He loses the number of the owner of the New York Mets. That happens.

KRAMER:  Well….did you call him?

STEVE:  Why would I call HIM?

KRAMER:  It’s a respect thing.  In Japanese culture, you call him.

JERRY: You call him.

STEVE:  Why would I call HIM?

KRAMER:  Oh, you gotta make the call.  If you don’t…..it shows a lack of respect.


Elaine enters the apartment.

ELAINE: (to Jerry) What’s with him?

JERRY:  He never called.

ELAINE:  Who never called?

STEVE: (dejected)  Ohtani.

JERRY: (smirking) He’s upset because Shohei Ohtani never called and now he signed with the Dodgers.

ELAINE: (confused) Wait, the baseball player? Why would he call you?

STEVE: (defeated) It’s a long story.

ELAINE:  Did you call him?

STEVE: (dejected) No.

ELAINE:  Well, you should have called.  It’s a respect thing.

INT. CITI FIELD OWNERS BOX – NIGHT

Steve, Jerry, and Kramer are at a game, watching Ohtani play for the Dodgers. Steve is visibly upset.

JERRY: (teasing) Look on the bright side, at least you’re not paying his salary.

STEVE: (grumbling) I would have paid double to see him in a Mets jersey.

KRAMER: (pondering) Maybe it’s a sign, you know? Like the universe telling you something.

STEVE: (annoyed) The only thing the universe is telling me is that I should’ve called.