Scully…
Yes Mulder?
Did you see the thing about the sexual enhancement pills?
Excuse me Mulder?
So? Baseball wants its players to be safe, Mulder.
Scully, you know how players are hitting a lot of home runs this season?
Yes, Mulder. I was just reading on five thirtyeight how “According to data from Baseball-Reference.com, Alonso’s blast in Kansas City marked the first time that four hitters have reached 40 or more homers through their teams’ 125th game played since 2001, when it was accomplished by Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Luis Gonzalez and Jim Thome. It was just the third time in Major League Baseball history,1 with 1998 marking the other occasion (Sosa, Mark McGwire, Ken Griffey Jr, Greg Vaughn). Bonds hit 54 home runs through 125 games in 2001, the most in history.”
Doesn’t that strike you as odd, Scully?
Mudler, players are much bigger than they were in 2001, and they have better workout routines and eat better and besides everyone knows the balls are wound tighter.
Really Scully? You sound like a crazy woman. They eat better?
Mulder what does any of this have to do with….um……enhancement pills?
Scully, hear me out, what if baseball knows that maybe it isn’t the baseballs, maybe it’s something else…and when the bill comes due like it did in 1998 that they will need to hide the issue…when someone tests positive for something, they can blame “sexual enhancement pills.” Rather than wipe out another generation of stars and players with Hall of Fame Stats, we can all wipe this away in the name of sexual enhancement. Who doesn’t like a little rock in their roll, right Scully?
It’s the baseballs Mulder.
Maybe Scully. Maybe. The truth is out there somewhere. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday people will look at 2019 and roll their eyes at what went on. Oh and Scully…
Yes, Mulder?
Don’t play this video at work or around children. There are a lot of naughty words and sexual situations. Mark McGwire saved baseball.
