Category: yankees

Posted on

A Future Look Back At 2009

I’m back from the future and 2009 was a helluva year in New York sports.

January 1st:   a cable outage prevents the metropolitan New York area from watching any college bowl games.   Nobody notices.  

January 2nd:  In the second cable oddity in as many days, YES airs an episode of “Yankees Classics” in which the Yankees lose to the 1985 Orioles 3-2 in ten innings.   Immediately following the game the Mark Texieira Yankeeography debuts.

January 3rd:   Jets hold press conference in which Brett Favre reads from cue cards.  He is pleased to be the “GM & HC of the NYJ.”   Coach Favre is unsure if Brett Favre will return as QB in 2009.

January 8th:  With the nation getting ready to talk about the BCS Championship, the Yankees offer Manny Ramirez a ten year one billion dollar contract.

January 17th:  Andy Pettitte announces “I’ve always been an Astro” and signs a one year deal with Houston.

January 20th:   The Yankees hold a noon-time press conference to introduce Manny Ramirez as their new left-fielder and successfully knock Barack Obama off the front page of the Post.

February 1:   The Giants defeat the Dolphins in the Super Bowl.   After the game Giants ownership announces that because of their inability to compete in the modern NFL, not only will the Giants charge PSLs, the bathrooms will now require a key which can be rented for $10 per game.

February 2nd:  Bill Parcells quits the Dolphins and hints that he might like to run the Lions.

February 3rd:   The Jets copy the Giants bathroom-key idea, although bathrooms will still be free for the upper deck.   Fans from the lower deck are welcome to walk up the ramp to use the free restrooms.   In 2009 this passes for fan-friendly.

February 15th:   Jimmie Johnson wins the Daytona 500.  Nobody up north cares.

February 16th:   With Parcells-mania hitting Detroit, Bill drops a hint that he’d really love to run the Atlanta Buccaneers, and this time he isn’t just teasing.   When reminded that Atlanta and the Bucs are two different teams Bill yells at the reporter.

April 13:   The Mets decide to wait out an April ice-storm, and the first pitch at Citi Field is thrown at 10:07pm.   The Mets look stunning in their white pinstripe uniforms, with no names on the back, and blue hats.   Johan Santana pitches 8 and a third of one run ball, but K-Rod serves up a two run homer as the Mets lose 3-2.

April 16:  On a beautiful 85 degree day with not a cloud in sight and low humidity, the Yankees open their new stadium.  C.C. Sabathia throws a perfect game and Jeter, Manny and Tex each get 4 hits.   The $20 “Jumbo” beer makes its world-wide debut.   The next day on his radio show Michael Kay talks about how he knew fans would show up and that any complaints about the price of tickets were silly.

April 19:  With the Mets now 0 and 5, the debut their new all-black uniforms including black pants.   Johan Santana pitches 8 and a third of one run ball before K-Rod blows the save in the 9th.

May 2:  Jimmie Johnson wins at Richmond, his 11th straight NASCAR victory.   Nobody up north notices.

May 5:  With the Mets now 7 games back the head writer of Metspolice.com writes his annual “The Math Proves The Mets Are Finished” article.  The next day he writes the first of seven “Lee Mazzilli Should Be The Manager” articles that will appear throughout the season.

May 20:  A game behind Boston, the Yankees announce that they can no longer compete in modern baseball without PSLs.  All fans holding tickets are retroactively billed for $20,000.   Michael Kay is heard to say on his radio show that if you can afford $45 seats you can afford twenty grand.   After a fan lawsuit, the case winds up before the Supreme Court.

May 23:  The Supreme Court rules in favor of fans in Yankees PSL case.   The Yankees respond by removing the seats, and successfully argue that they only sold admission, not a place to sit.   Capacity of New New Yankee Stadium becomes 130,000 with the cheapest standing space $65.
June 1:  Derek Jeter heads into June batting .206 but fans still love him.  A-Rod gets booed after hitting his 27th home run in a 9-2 loss.
June 12:  The Yankees host the Mets before a full standing capacity of 130,000.  On his Monday radio show, Michael Kay says that if you could afford $45 to sit you can afford $60 to stand.

June 14:   The Mets-Yankees game is scheduled for 8:05 so Phil Mushnick writes about late starts.  Johan Santana holds the Yankees to one run in 8 and a third, but K-Rod gives up a two run homer to A-Rod to blow the game.

June 15:   Lazy bloggers write yet another article about the Seaver trade.

June 18:  The Chiba Lotte Marines fire Bobby Valentine who mentions that he wouldn’t mind managing the Mets.

July 4:   With Dave Righetti in attendance, A.J. Burnett throws a no hitter in front of 128,995 fans at New New Yankee Stadium.

July 5:   Bobby Valentine is hired as the Mets international scout.   Within two days the Mets announce they have signed “the Japanese Barry Bonds.”

July 14:   Andy Pettitte (12-2) edges out Mike Pelfrey (11-1) to start the All-Star Game for the NL.   A Yankee starts at every position except second base, including Derek Jeter who is hitting .194.

July 30:   Six games back of the Phillies, fans clamor for Omar Minaya to trade for Pettitte.   Instead the Mets grab some random middle relievers.

Aug 1:  In a game against Arizona, Jerry Manuel finally does go gangsta and stabs Jose Reyes who doesn’t run out a ground ball.   Manuel is arrested and replaced by Bobby Valentine.   Metspolice.com writes a “Lee Mazzilli should have been the guy” article.

Aug 2:  Jose Castillo takes over as Mets SS while Reyes recuperates from stabbing wounds.  Meanwhile in the Bronx Derek Jeter is hitting .114 but it’s a clutch .114 not like A-Rod who leads the league with 48 home runs.

Aug 7:  The Japanese Barry Bonds makes his debut as the Mets left fielder.  

Aug 17:  Jets HC & GM Brett Favre offers Kellen Clemens and three #1s to the Patriots in exchange for Tom Brady.  Surprisingly the Patriots accept.

Aug 21:  With Brady taking the majority of snaps in practice, player Brett Favre announces he will return for 2009.  HC &GM Favre installs player Favre as QB1.

Aug 22:  The Jets beat the Giants 34-13 in preseason action.

Sep 1:   Bobby V has the Mets now just 2 games back.  

September 6th:  Patriots QB Matt Cassell slips in the shower and is out for the year.  Kellen Clemens takes over at QB for the Patriots.

Sep 11:  Lazy Bloggers wax poetically about Mike Piazza.   In a pivotal game against the Phillies. Johan Santana holds the defending champions to one run in 8 and a third, but K-Rod serves up a two run homer to give the Phils the victory.

Sep 20:   Jose Reyes returns from the disabled list to become a bench-warmer to Jose Castillo who is hitting .395 since taking over as SS.  Bobby V decides to ride the hot hand.

Sep 28:  The Mets are 6 back in the wild card with 6 to play.  Bobby V is hoping to catch the Reds for a one game playoff.

September 30:   Alex Rodriguez hits his 73rd home run of the season in a 10-1 loss and is booed.  Derek Jeter is hitting .085 but fans still love him.

October 3:  Johan Santana throws 171 pitches in 10 innings to defeat the Astros and keep the Mets playoff hopes alive.

October 4th:  Andy Pettitte outduels Derek Lowe, eliminating the Mets from playoff contention.  After the game the Mets hold the ceremony to retire Keith Hernandez’s #17 in front of a half empty stadium.

November 5:  The Phillies defeat the Yankees in Game 7 of the World Series.  Several Mets observe that the Mets are the better team.  Michael Kay observes that if you hold Game 7 of the World Series at Yankee Stadium people will gladly pay $185 to stand.

December 1:  The Jets enter December 8-4 with talks of an MVP for Brett Favre and coach of the year for Favre.  With games against the 1-11 Dolphins, 2-12 Bills and Bill Parcells’ Jacksonville Jaguars, there is talk about a Week 17 showdown against the 7-5 Patriots.

December 27:  The 8-7 Jets need a victory against the Patriots coupled with a Browns loss to gain the final wild card spot.   Trailing 24-14 at half-time the HC & GM of the NJY Brett Favre benches QB Favre, and Tom Brady makes his Jets debut in the second half.   Brady goes 14 for 14 but it’s not enough to outduel league MVP Kellen Clemens and the Patriots.

,

www.metspolice.com

Please visit www.metspolice.com and help stop black uniforms.
Posted on

Fun Stuff From The Week (Including Yanks Fans Rooting For Laundry)

Some things that got attention during the week:

A bunch of people called me to task for writing that Yankee Fans Are Just Rooting For Laundry Now (in the wrong building).

Some agree about not getting Manny when I said The Mets Are Having A Smart Day.

Where might Jeter wind up?  Jeter’s Future?

We heard back from you when we asked What Has Omar Actually Done?

People are still hitting the Michael Kay: Shill?  article.

Folks love Pics of Shea Deconstruction & New Yankee Stadium.

Finally, I appreciate a good comment, and frequent visitor Trooper York got his shots in:

Well someone didn’t get what they wanted for Christmas.

This off season was the Yankees doing what the Yankees always do. Last year was the abberation where they didn’t make the big move in the off season and built from within. The Yankees have always had hired gun free agents like Reggie and Winfield and A-Rod is just the latest embodiment of that trend. Reggie was the only one who produced but we had lots of big stars come in and not win like Winfield and Rickey Henderson and Jack Clark and Dave Collins and Ken Griffey Sr. who were acquired as free agents or in money centric trades that didn’t pan out.


(MP:  I do get a kick out of how Reggie has somehow picked up the legacy after Joe D died as if Reggie is somehow a lifelong Yankee.  He wasn’t even that loved when he was here as a player.  Every year the legend grows.)

Johnny Damon is as much a Yankee as Beltran or Delgado is a Met. Let’s face it, the Yankees still have more home grown talent on thier roster than the Mets. Jeter, Posada, Petitite, Joba, Cano, Hughes, Kennedy, Gardner, Melky and Mariano are the bulk of the team. The Meties have the two overrated choke artists Wright and Reyes.


(MP:  Preaching to the choir here.  I get killed on pointing out OverReyes not being as good as the stats.   I am being a hypocrite this winter in that I want the Mets to open their wallets.  Normally I’m screaming about home grown talent, but I never claimed this blog has any integrity, it’s just a blog.)

And you should face another fact. The Mets can only get someone who the Yankees really don’t want. Beltran wanted to come to the Yankees for less money and the only reason the Mets got Santana is the Yanks wanted to go with kids so they didn’t try to sweeten the deal.

You have to face it dude. The Mets are second rate. Second class. A day late and a dollar short. Now that Freddie Coupon lost all his money to a swindler it is even less likely they will do what they need to win.


(MP:  I wish I could disagree on either of the above two paragraphs but you got me.  I have an undeveloped post that will discuss how the Mets act like a small market team as if they don’t have all the advantages the Yankees do.  I’m trying to polish that one off.)

And as far as laundry goes, the Yankees at least know what there uniforms look like. Are you guys going with black jerseys this year or are you going to wear cullotes like the White Sox used too. Face it, even the Yankees laundry is better. That’s why we feel great rooting for it.


(MP:  Once again, Amen!   The Mets Police wish the Mets would wear white pinstripes with blue hats (no black and no black shading) at home, and “1973” road jerseys.  No names on either.   I will meet the Mets half-way and they can wear whatever the hell they want on Sundays.)

www.metspolice.com

Please visit www.metspolice.com and help stop black uniforms.
Posted on

Yankee Fans Just Rooting For Laundry Now (In The Wrong Bulding)

I think the band Nerf Herder said it best in their song “Vanhalen” when they sang:

Is this what you wanted?  Sammy Hagar.  Sammy Hagar, is this what you wanted man?

So Yankee fans, congratulations.   Let’s take a look at what you’ve achieved in your quest to dominate the 21st century, I’m sure it’s what you had in mind when Torre played the infield in back in November 2001.

You’ll find yourself north of 161st street in a building that kind of looks like home, but kind of looks like New Comiskey in that “that ain’t good” kind of way.   You can look south if you want to see the grass where the legends played – you’ve left them behind now, but you still have all the wonderful inconveniences of getting to “The Stadium” as you will insist on calling it, even though it isn’t really.

You’ll look out on the field and see all the great “Yankees.”

There’s Johnny Damon, the modern day DiMaggio.  When I see Damon I remember all his famous Yankees world series championships and I can’t imagine him playing somewhere else.

There’s C.C. and A.J. and Tex – guys we’ve come to know and love as “true Yankees” as long as they win and bums if they don’t.   Mike Mussina was a bum for 7 years until he won 20 in an otherwise crappy year, then he had the sense to get out while the getting was good.

Joe Girardi in the dugout.   The man who would replace Torre – and finish third.   The only Yankee manager in history to finish behind the (Devil) Rays.

Finally, we can’t overlook the future Yankee Hall of Famer, the man destined to hit Cooperstown with the Babe and the Mick.   The future all time home run king, who will break the record in the new stadium on the wrong side of 161st.   Yep, Mister Yankee himself, the man who brought his winning ways to the Bronx, the man who has won two MVP’s but still isn’t loved – number 13, Alex Rodriguez.

Is this what you wanted Yankee fans?   You may win, and you may have a new stadium, but back up to those Brosius and Jeter home runs in the Bronx back in 2001 and ask yourself if this is what you wanted?

www.metspolice.com

Please visit www.metspolice.com and help stop black uniforms.
Posted on

Yankees To Offer 25 Cent Tix – What Will Ticketmaster Tack On?



The Yankees are offering 25 cent seats for the exhibition opener.  I think that’s cool – I’m not sure why they are catching grief over it.
I’d be more worried about the “service charge” that Ticketmaster will charge.  I can’t wait for them to tell me it costs nine bucks to mail me a 25 cent ticket.

SPORTS BUSINESS
By RICHARD SANDOMIR
Published: December 24, 2008
The Yankees and Mets are offering cheap or free tickets to exhibition games in April, but regular-season tickets will be less affordable than ever.

www.metspolice.comPost Options

Please visit www.metspolice.com and help stop black uniforms.
Posted on

Michael Kay: Greatest Ever or Elitist Yankee Shill

Dear Michael Kay at 1050 ESPN Radio in New York,

I caught the end of your show last Wednesday and I came to the conclusion that you are the greatest talk-show host in America.

The job of the host is to get an emotional response out of people, and that you sure did.

The topic was the New Yankee Stadium.   You did a rant about how fans shouldn’t complain about the Yankees asking for more help from the city.  That was annoying enough.

Then you said this, which is why you are the greatest talk show host in the country.   Your premise was that fans should not complain about ticket prices.  You stated that there are 30,000 seats at the New New Stadium for $25 or less.   Your co-host then suggested that $25 is no small piece of change.

Here’s where you take the prize because nobody could possibly be this much of a Yankee shill.  You must have been trying to get the phones to ring (even though the show was over, so that’s weird).   Michael, you said that someone who can’t afford $25 tickets probably couldn’t afford $10 seats either.  (I think at one point you even said $6 seats).

Your co-host correctly pointed out that taking a family of four to the game would mean $100.   You seemed to think that spending $100 and spending $40 were the same.   Really dude?   Then you went on some tangent about bringing a sandwich.

Yeah I guess I could bring four sandwiches.  Of course I will have to carry them in my hand because there are no bags allowed in the stadium.

PROHIBITED ITEMS
No backpacks, briefcases, large purses, bags, coolers, glass or plastic bottles, cans, laser pens, video cameras, laptops, firearms or knives are permitted in the ballpark, and there is no claim check area to store any such items.


I also can’t realistically bring any drinks.   No bottles, cans or coolers.  So I guess I’ll ice down some 4 ounce juiceboxes overnight and carry them in the sandwich free hand.

Yankee Stadium security screams friendliness (which Michael you can read about Yankee Stadium Security Ridiculous or here Yankee Stadium Security Slightly Less Ridiculous).

Maybe you think it’s normal to make people take off a BASEBALL CAP on their way into Yankee Stadium.  After all, the notorious Al Qaeda baseball cap bomber nearly destroyed the old place.   I hear the guys in Mumbai had bombs hidden under their Yankee hats.

It’s good too that nobody can bring a bag into Yankee Stadium.  I mean, who are these crazy people that bring a bag somewhere?   It’s as if people think they can come straight from work and bring their bag with them.  That’s crazy.

So I agree with you.  No bags, bring a sandwich.   I will carry in a sandwich and some frozen juice boxes.

$40 is the same as $100.   I’m also lucky that I live across the street so I don’t have to pay $18 to park or spend $16 in Metrocards for ny family of 4.   I’ll let my son know he can’t have a $7 hot dog and yell at him for losing his sandwich (mine will be safely tucked under my seat not in a cooler).  My sandwich will probably stay cold anyway since I sit in the shade since the great suntan lotion ban of Summer 2008.   You remember that one right…

The NY Yankees banned sunblock at Yankee stadium “to prevent terrorism.” On a blistering hot day. And sold high-markup, crappy sunblock inside the gates. You know, as soon as we said “There is no price too high to pay in the war on terror,” we lost — and every sleazy con-artist, profiteer, greedhead and crook won.




I felt so much safer after that.  If that pesky Al Qaeda isn’t sneaking bombs in bags or under baseball caps they are clearly doing things with suntan lotions.   

 Security guards collected garbage bags full of sunblock at the entrances to Yankee Stadium over the sweltering weekend, when temps hit 96 degrees and the UV index reached a skin-scorching 9 out of 10 – a move team officials said was to protect the Stadium from terrorism…

Yes Michael, $40 or a hundred dollars is the same thing.   I know you know that because as an employee of the Yankees and ESPN and a former sportswriter you pay for tickets all the time.   I’m sure you blow off the media lot and park 4 blocks away.

Michael I’m convinced you are the greatest talk show host in the world.   I remember that day you pulled everyone’s leg and sounded serious about it being fine that the Evil Money Grubbing Giants stuck their fans with $20,000 PSLs.   (link – https://metspolice.com/2008/07/michael-kay-doesnt-care-about-you.html ).

Congratulations dude.  Great radio.  I know you can’t possibly think $40 and $100 are the same to a regular guy like yourself.

Hopefully someone over there at the Michael Kay Show at 1050 ESPN Radio New York has a google alert and this makes it to you.   You are welcome to write back.  Drop me a line at [email protected] or post a comment right here at  https://metspolice.com/.  See ya!

Please visit www.metspolice.com and help stop black uniforms.