The Mets Police

Front Office Sports has a must-read/watch with Mets president of business operations Scott Havens, whose work I will say I am not at all a fan of,  It has inspired this opinion piece.

The team has embraced infielder Jose Iglesias’s song “OMG” as an anthem. When 97-year-old veteran Seymour Weiner was honored at a game and went viral for his name, the team didn’t shy away. It had Weiner promote Dollar Dog night. Another breakout sensation has been Max Wiener, the “Rally Pimp.”(via Front Office Sports)

Here’s a quote.  LITTLE BROTHER SYNDROME MUCH????: “By the way, this would never have happened in the Bronx. Never, ever have happened in the Bronx, because 27 world titles, ‘we’re the Yankees.’ … When things pop up that can be loosely correlated to a winning streak, Mets fans jump on this. … With the social media team that we’re investing in, we jumped on it very quickly. We most certainly didn’t start the fire, but we put gasoline on it.”

Here’s a video of Scott explaining how his philosophy at a conference at the Hamptons, a relatable thing to any Mets fan.

I like when he says “The MLB” a few times.

Another highlight is when the host asks “how many people know about Grimace” and they get a few hands.  I guess its not that viral Scott.

Another note – he talks about how “they” were losing in May, but then “we” were winning after Grimace.  Fascinating.

At the 21 minute mark he tries to spin the proposes casino area as “former ash dump” which yeah sure, but that’s like calling Washington DC a former swamp.  Accurate, but really irrelevant to the present day.   Manhattan, that former forest.  Anyway Scott, it’s a park.  A casino is not a park.  A park is a park.

He also seriously said imagine flying into LGA and taking an underground tunnel (name checking The Boring Company) to Willets Point.  Yeah OK.  Also, we’re building a tunnel on that water table???  Yeah???

So there ya have it.  Rally Pimps and Weiner Jokes and now the nice young lady from the other day.  Gotta go viral, because you don’t want to be like those Yankees.

Well Scott, this must all be working.  Let’s check in on the attendance as reported by ESPN.   Boy those Yankees are stupid not doing this cool viral stuff the youths like.

What’s the plan here – show up at Citi Field because you never know who might throw out the first pitch?

Here’s how you get the city talking about the Mets.  Win baseball games.

Here’s how you get attendance to go up.  Win baseball games.

Anyway this explains why the Mets social media accounts are not what they once were.   Oh, and Scott, is that Youtube Show/Podcast that gets 1000 views part of the virality?  Under 600 views for the manager?

 

Yesterday’s “Seinfeld” was way more accurate than I realized!

 

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Steve: I’ve cracked the code, Jerry! The secret to marketing is going viral!

Jerry: (skeptical) Oh really? And how did you figure that out?

Steve: Look at Grimace! And don’t forget about “OMG” – it’s everywhere!

Elaine: (entering the conversation) What’s going on?

Jerry: Steve here thinks he’s cracked the marketing code. He wants the Mets to go viral.

Elaine: (smirking) Well, they’re already pretty good at spreading disappointment. Does that count?

Jerry: (deadpan) How about you have Mr. Met streak across the field?

Elaine: (laughing) Or maybe you could have the players wear their uniforms backwards for a game?

Steve: (considering) Hmm, that’s not bad…

Kramer:  Why don’t you have someone already famous on the internet  throw out the first pitch?  That way you get to take advantage of their social media crossing over into your social media.

Steve:  That’s not a bad idea.  Who do you suggest?

Kramer: You know, that girl… Hailey Welch! She’s huge on social media!

[Jerry looks confused but doesn’t say anything]

 

INT. CITI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Steve: (to his marketing team) I want Hailey Welch to throw the first pitch next game!

Marketing Manager who was recently hyped up in a press release: (hesitant) Uh,  Steve, are you sure that’s a good idea?

Steve:  Of course it is! She’s famous, isn’t she?   Chad, make sure we promote the heck out of this on social media.

Chad the social media intern:  Sure thing Mr. Steve! Hailey Welch, I will look her up and get some images made.

Marketing Manager: (hesitant) Steve, are you sure that’s the best choice? Maybe we should consider…

Steve: (interrupting) Of course it’s the best choice! She’s famous, isn’t she? It’ll go viral!

[The team exchanges worried glances]

Steve: (turning to the ticket reps) Speaking of which, how are ticket sales going for the game?

Ticket Rep: (excitedly) Actually,  we’re expecting a great turnout!

Steve: (pleased) Excellent! See? People are excited about Hailey Welch!

Ticket Rep: (nervously) Well, not exactly, sir. We’ve got a lot of summer camps coming for the weekday day game. There should be a good number of children in attendance.

Steve:  This is perfect! The kids will love it. They’re all on social media, right? They’ll make it go viral for sure!

Ticket Rep: (hesitantly) Sir, I’m not sure the children are familiar with…

Steve: (interrupting again) It doesn’t matter! Famous is famous. This is going to be great for our image.  OMG, am I right?

[The marketing team and ticket reps exchange worried looks]

INT. CITI FIELD – GAME DAY

Young Girl:  Dad, who is that lady?

Dad: (awkwardly) Uh… she’s… famous for… being famous on the internet, sweetie.

Chad: (pumping his fist) Yes! It’s going viral already!

[Suddenly, the office phone rings. Chad answers it.]

Chad: Mets social media, this is Chad speaking!

[His face drops as he listens to the voice on the other end]

Chad: (panicking) What do you mean, “wrong image”? I… oh no. Oh no no no…

[He looks back at his computer screen, his eyes widening in horror as he realizes his mistake.]

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – LATER

[Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and Steve are gathered in the living room]

Jerry: I can’t believe it. A five-run lead against the A’s, and they still managed to lose. The Mets really know how to blow a game… in more ways than one.

Steve: (defensive and flustered) It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know the bullpen would implode like that?

Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh, I don’t know, Steve. Maybe because it happens every other game?

Steve: (getting worked up) You think this is easy? I’m trying my best here! Kramer what kind of websites are you even on?

Kramer: (with his typical enthusiastic, slightly manic energy) It’s like a whole other world out there, Jerry. A digital frontier where anything is possible!

Jerry: (deadpan) So, you’re on Reddit.

Kramer: (deflating slightly) Well… yeah. But it’s the good parts of Reddit!

Jerry:   Lighten up.  It’s not like you dropped 2 out of 3 to a team that doesn’t even have a home city.

Steve: (throwing his hands up) What am I supposed to do? Go out there and pitch myself?

Kramer: (excited) Now that’s an idea! “Owner Takes the Mound” – it’d be a great publicity stunt!

Elaine: Maybe you should rename the bullpen the “Blow-pen.”

Jerry:  It is on brand with the marketing.

Steve:  you know, it would get people talking….

 

 

Trying not to be vulgar like Steve Cohen’s Mets brand and MLB….

If you are unfamiliar with Miss Welch, she’s famous for something that I’m not comfortable sharing here on my nice blog.  If you’re at work, DO NOT look her up.   All the other websites will be famous to let you know her skill set.

Not sure what’s going on here Steve.

Waaaahhhhh…..

For the Mets it is time to….