The Mets Police

AN HONEST HOME RUN CALL

Long time readers know that Gary Cohen mails in most home run calls with a Sterling-esque “To the track, it is far, to the wall, it’s outta here!” – well so far Impostor Gary has not used that AT ALL.

Pete. pic.twitter.com/Bmq7Zq2SYg

— New York Mets (@Mets) April 1, 2023

THE BALLGAME IS OVER

Another tell – when the final out was made, did Impostor Gary say “the ballgame is over!” – NO! The Impostor said “the ballgame comes to an end.”

What? Where is real Gary? Who is this impostor????

In other news, did you hear Keith admit…pretty early, maybe the first inning…that he tunes out. Keith has no role now with the faster pace of play. Should be interesting to watch.

2:09 last night! Done by 9! I played video games AND watched the Mets AND watched Star Trek AND watched the Mandalorian. If we can eliminate replacy and any-and-all mound visits we can get this sport down to 1:55! Baseball is back baby!

If you watched Mets Opening Day, you may have noticed some changes in Gary Cohen’s behavior.  I believe he has been replaced by an impostor.  Here’s why.

He acknowledged the T-Shirt People.

For years (a decade?) any time the TV camera showed the T-Shirt People, Gary would not only ignore them, he would completely stop talking.  Silence.  Ice Cold.  Now, I have heard the reason why Gary would not mention them, but it’s not my story to tell.

On yesterday’s telecast, Gary acknowledged the T-Shirt Enthusiasts, I think twice, but for sure when they were joined by Billionaire T-Shirt Enthusiast Steve Cohen.  I guess Gary knows not to mess with the money, and if Steve wanted to be Man of The People, it would not be wise to not play along.  (When is Gary’s contract up?  Yes I know Steve doesn’t own SNY, but the Mets definitely get to weigh in on who does the games.)

He discussed Daniel Murphy without sounding like he hated him

Gary was openly not a fan of Daniel Murphy, once calling him a “Net Negative.” You could hear the derision in his voice.

On Opening Day, GKR discussed Murph and it was a perfectly normal even-keeled conversation about Daniel.   I have my theory on what Gary’s problem with Murph is but I cant prove it so I will let you speculate amongst yourselves, but I don’t think it was about base running.

Gary did a natural Home Run Call

At some point the Marlins hit a HR to tie the game.  (SNY can’t be bothered sharing clips of the bad guys doing good things, so I don’t have it).  Did Gary mail it in and say “to the track, to the wall. its outta here” which is Queensish for “It is high, it is far, it is gone” even though those of you with howie rose colored glasses win’t admit it….no, he did not.  He did some sort of realistic in the moment HR call, as baseball announcer should.

I wonder if the increased pace is keeping Gary more on his toes…..it’s easy to mail it in when you’re bored out of your mind.

On a similar note, did you notice Keith has no role now?  Ron can get in his “smart analysis” shtick, but there’s no time for Keith telling us stories of Sag Harbor or admiring the young woman in thr crowd shot.  This is worth keeping an eye on – watch out for Checked Out Keith, especially with a new deal in hand.

So far, Baseball is Back Baby!  Nice quick game.  Hopefully everyone starts stealing bases like its 1985!

Jacob deGrom doesn’t love you Mets fans.  He got out of here the first chance he got.  Anyway, today was Opening Day and as the ace of the Rangers it was his turn to pitch.  How did he do?

New threads, same Jacob deGrom. 😮‍💨 pic.twitter.com/t3swi7N6yI

— MLB (@MLB) March 30, 2023

Wow, looks like a great signing for Texas!

On to the second and….OH NO…

FIRST BOHM RUN OF THE SEASON#RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/9ZlWPjt179

— Philadelphia Phillies (@Phillies) March 30, 2023

Well, hey that kind of thing is going to happen.

He might be as fast as Lightning McQueen pic.twitter.com/WXcpANjvWT

— Philadelphia Phillies (@Phillies) March 30, 2023

Well, that’s unexpected. Anyway JDG is probably happy with the schools in Texas…

Jake came back for the 4th but with 2 outs…Pitching Change: Cole Ragans replaces Jacob deGrom.

Ragans let the inherited runner score and that will close the books on the Rangers’ Ace.

For deGrom, 3.2 innings, 6 hits, 5 runs, all earned, SEVEN Ks and a HR. An ERA of 12.27 Basically a Matt Harvey start.

Have fun Rangers fans!

Well friends, here we are again with another off-season killed off.  This marks the 16th season of Mets Police where the goal remains to encourage the Mets to win the World Series while nicely dressed (meaning no stupid uniforms, including black uniforms).  Unfortunately because this owner brought the black back it seems like I will be forced to continue for a 17th season and beyond..but one thing at a time.

I stopped watching baseball last season, after all, baseball is boring.  But I am hopeful because baseball was so broken that even baseball realized it was broken! That’s how broken it was!  I am hopeful these new pace of game changes, combined with an increase in stolen bases (my guess is someone will figure out how to abuse the two-pickoff-throws rule) and maybe we can have some fun Old Timey Baseball when the sport was watchable.

I hope most of the Mets have a good season except this guy, who can’t fail enough.  I hope he bats .075 and the fans turn on him.

Baseball is as interesting as the starting pitcher – and the Mets should be pretty watchable on the days Scherzer, Verlander and Senga pitch – so I shall give the season a chance.  My guess is I will be bored by Saturday (the Marlins are always hard games to watch).

I have no plans to attend any games.  It is not worth the 7 hours it becomes (including the trip) or the tolls or the parking or the food cost, and I haven’t even mentioned tickets yet.

Late last season I bought a new 70 inch TV, for like $700, and I would encourage you to do the same.  Stay home, save some money, and enjoy the game until it becomes boring.

I am making the unpopular prediction that Gary Cohen will be exposed this season.  With the quicker pacing, Keith Hernandez will have less time to tell stories and carry the booth.

I also like that the schedule doesn’t have the annoying Day Off after game 1, and the Marlins understand the wisdom of the 6:40 start (Friday)

Anyway, let’s keep the black uniforms locked away, vote No on giving parklands to one of the richest men on the planet so he can get even richer off the backs off poor people, and let’s hope the Mets win it all.   There is no F in LGM Pete, thats why you don’t have  Coca-Cola deal.  Let’s Go Mets!

Wait what?

The Long Island Ducks today announced the signing of 12-year Major League veteran infielder Daniel Murphy. He begins his first season with the Ducks and 16th in professional baseball.

Murph said:  “This game is part of my soul, and my passion for playing grew as great as ever when I discovered certain things that I believe will enable me to be productive on the field again,””I am immensely grateful to Mr. Boulton, Wally Backman and Michael Pfaff for allowing me to live my dream for a second time.”

“Competing before the New York fans is an enormous privilege, and I hope that my effort and performance reflect how honored I am to do so,” “The sincerest thanks from my family and I to the Long Island Ducks for this chance at a new adventure.”

So, I have to assume he wants to get back to the majors?  VERY EXCITING!

Regardless, if you’ve never been to a Ducks game, you should.

In a statement, Mets Police founder,  and widely accepted as the #1 Daniel Murphy fan, Shannon Shark said:

I am beyond thrilled to learn that Murph is playing professional baseball again. It’s great to have a player like that who appreciates the fans. The Ducks have always been a great organization and a great team to see in person. #imwith28