Good morning Mets fans,
While I take a special bonus weekday outing to the Unnamed Donuts Chain, I wanted to wish you a happy Metsivus.
As is our tradition, I invite you to the airing of the grievances. I will go first.
Oliver. Oh Ollie. Do you not understand team? Do you mot understand people were trying to help you? Would an August in Buffalo been that bad?
Francisco. Don’t bring that crap in here. Man up and play better.
Fran. No you haven’t called a game in years but I am still annoyed at how many awful games you called.
Doc. Get it together man. You’ve gone to the forgiveness well too many times.
Terry. No not new Terry, the other one. September 11, 1987. Terry, they had battled all the way back. Why did you do that to me?
San Diego. Just play a day game after a West Coast Trip and don’t make the Mets open their new stadium at night.
Dave. They’re obstructed.
Luis. Put it in the….oh hell.