Look, I get you’re upset that the Wilpons are not spending money on baseball players. Some of you are quite quite upset. I have a suggestion.
Find another team.
If your girlfriend makes you unhappy you break up with her. If you don’t like you r job you try to find another one. So if the baseball team makes you so unhappy that you have to have Meetings (apparently the New Boycotters are gathering on Thursday to discuss PLANS) then you should find another team.
Now let’s start with the things you like and don’t like about Queens right now. You seem to like that they play in New York. You see to not like that they don’t spend money on players and that they don’t win. I have a really simple solution, and one you should actually consider.
Become a Yankees fan.
If you become a Yankees fan, you can still attend lots of games (depending where you live your commute gets 8 miles better or worse). You can watch on TV every night. You have an exciting young untried manager just like in Queens. They have bleachers in case you want to sit 500 feet from home and chant He Struck Him Out like an idiot. There really is nothing not to like here. So become a Yankees fan.
Maybe you hate the Yankees so so much. So if you live on the west side of the Hudson become a Phillies fan. You can go check out DH-less baseball in about 10 minutes longer (and $35 in tolls cheaper) than if you headed out to Citi Field. The fans are feisty, and they too have bleachers should you want to chant He Struck Him Out like an idiot. You’ll have to invest in some MLB TV but at least you can cut the cord. Not a bad idea. They also have a fun mascot who isn’t being cuckolded by one of the star players.
OK ok I know you think we have some sort of rivalry with the Phillies. Why not become a Boston fan. It’s not that long a drive, they’ve had some success, and they are the enemies of the Yankees. Being a Red Sox fan in greater New York makes you interesting. It’s not a bad look. We’re long past that 1986 thing (let the past die).
Finally, I have what I think is the best solution. Go back to your heritage and become a fan of the New York Giants. They presently play in San Francisco, but you probably live in New Jersey or Long Island which ain’t Queens, so what’s the difference?
The Giants have nice uniforms, a long history, have had some success in the 21st Century, and would make for a nice annual road trip for you to visit. You can wear cool NY caps (like the above) with your new Giants gear, and it’s just a cooler move than pretending you cared about the Brooklyn Dodgers (plus why would you support Fred Wilpon’s team?).
Overall, I think this is the move. The downside is the 10:05 starts so you’ll really need to load up on their day games and weekend play.
So there you have it Boycotters. I have set you free. Move on to greener pastures. You can stay local, semi-local or you can go out West like we all wind up doing eventually. The Mets are just a product and it’s a product you don’t like. Find another brand.
