Posted on by Shannon Shark @metspolice

Mets Police Morning Laziness: The Dark Knight Relieves

Sometimes an article is so bad that it surpasses being too bad for NOT LINKING and comes around to me HATE LINKING.  Someone wrote one about how Cespedes is in the “doghouse” of Mets fans. WTF are you talking about bro?  Everyone needs to chime in on this one so this guy loses his membership in the blogger union. Anyway hopefully Yo’s BOMB puts that guy back in his basement. (That’s how professionals insult bloggers.  Meanwhile everyone knows I blog from the den and the deck.   Try writing your newspaper poolside.  I digress).

SLACKISH REACTION:  Hey the Mets won!  I was long asleep.  Something something about a Jay Bruce HR in extras and a dopey challenge (can those die already?) and I dunno that’s what the 64 other blogs are and not why you come here.  For me, the true fun was THE DARK KNIGHT RELIEVES!

For me it’s great because I can get all my Joker memes out in rapid fire succession which concentrates the jokes.

Seems like Mr. Harvey may have blown off the media.  MAJOR MISTAKE BATMAN.  You have to stand there and give Jeter-like quotes (you said you wanted to be like him, remember?)  Now, they will turn on you Batman.

And once again I will encourage TDK to enjoy Springsteen’s fine song Local Hero…

They get their local hero
Somebody with the right style
They get their local hero
Somebody with just the right smile

Well I learned my job I learned it well
Fit myself with religion and a story to tell
First they made me the king then they made me pope
Then they brought the rope

The rope is coming Batman.

Speaking of the Next Seaver, yesterday inspired me to write a lot about the Original Next Seaver, George Thomas Seaver aka The Franchise.

3.  You wanna compare this guy to Tom Seaver?  Here’s the comparison….

Tom Seaver of the White Sox (ages 39-40) was 33-28 3.67.    Matt Harvey is 34-37 3.60 plus or minus whatever happened last night and if it is in the Baseball Encyclopedia yet.

This photo below cracks me up for some reason.  Oh and I see it on 5000 junk twitter accounts and I just grabbed a random one so if it turns out 10 years from now that I embedded an ISIS account to make fun of Matt Harvey don’t take it out on my senatorial run OK?  I’m just goofing on a guy who posed nude in ESPN Magazine.

I am agnostic on the whole Superfriends thing the Mets do, but I think calling the Gazelle Man The Flash is fun and gives Thor something to do other than cuckolding the mascot.

Who are these humans that bought the Salt & Pepper tees?  I bust on The T-Shirt Guy enough (lovingly) but his stuff is a billion times better, and the T&l shirts are super comfy (I don’t know if S&P shirts are not).  Anyway, the power of the brand is so strong that if TTSG (just coined that, let me know if you like it)had made S&P shirts I’d have Media Goon and the Army telling me how cool they are.  Speaking of t-shirts…

Keith (Hernandez, not the Media Goon) is doing a t-shirt contest of sorts that hasn’t interested me, but here are the semifinalists or something.

What if the Mets ARE moving to Mercury, suburb of Las Vegas?

NOT LINKING: The kids at the AAIMBR+ are writing about players who won’t be on the 2019 Mets for some reason.