February: Mets fans are very excited about the new season. Steve Cohen makes an appearance at Spring Training and the beat falls in love and writes about The New Mets. Carlos Beltran is praised for being one of the smartest minds in baseball.
March: Pete Alonso arrives to camp one morning on a horse, while wearing a fur coat. He also has a new pet chimpanzee named Homer that he keeps in the clubhouse. Pete is praised for being a team leader. The New Mets are fun and the beat can tell this is a different type of Mets team. Jim Breuer makes daily videos. Rick Porcello quietly donates $100,000 to a local animal shelter but nobody notices because of Homer The Chimp.
Dom Smith is traded to the Rockies for a middle reliever.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
April: the Mets get off to a 15-3 start, dropping only the games Marcus Stroman pitched and despite Pete Alonso getting off to a slow start. Carlos Beltran is praised as the smartest man in baseball. Rick Porcello quietly donates $100,000 to a children’s charity but nobody notices because John Franco has started a t-shirt company that brags about the Mets as New York’s finest. Across town, the struggling Yankees are 9-9. The Mets do cool and play .500 the rest of the month
15,000 fans, including Jim Breuer who is watching Homer The Chimp for the day, sit with The7Line Army in the stands in Puerto Rico.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
May: Robinson Cano is having what looks like could be an MVP season. Pete Alonso’s slow start does not worry fans. He will come around once the weather warms up, and Pete makes a hilarious appearance on Carpool Karaoke with Homer The Chimp.
In Colorado, Dom Smith has replaced Daniel Murphy as the everyday 1B. John Franco’s t-shirt sales continue to skyrocket thanks to some Let’s Franco Go Mets tees that have a hidden message in them. The struggling Yankees are one game under .500.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
June: the first place Mets sail along, although the Braves have made up some ground following some tough losses by the Mets following some questionable in-game strategy by Beltran. Regardless, Brodie Van Wagenen is feeling quite confident and says “there is no doubt we will win the World Series” in an appearance on WFAN. That news overshadows Rick Porcello’s donation of $100,000 to a cancer charity which gets little play in the media.
Robinson Cano is closing in on 30 HRs by the end of the month and is New York’s favorite player. John Franco is selling Don’t Ya Know tees in blue and orange and Mets fans buy them by the dozens.
Pete Alonso is batting under 200 and hitting a lot of 385 foot fly balls but the millennials say something about BAPIP or something and it’s all gonna be ok. Pete is not discouraged though and goes on Howard Stern. Jim Breuer buys an SRO pass and attends every home game, often with Homer The Chimp.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
July: the second place Mets sail into the All Star Game with Jacob deGrom, Robinson Cano and Delin Betances representing the team where they see old teammate Dom Smith there to represent the Rockies.
Despite a sub-par first half, Pete Alonso is not discouraged and spends the break doing guest appearances on Kimmel, Fallon and The Daily Show….with Homer The Chimp, of course.
After the break, the free-falling Mets drop ten of eleven making Andy Martino wonder it Noah Syndergaard will be traded to the Yankees who have quietly opened a three game lead in the AL East. TheSyndergaard rumors overshadow the news that Rick Porcello quietly donated $100,000 to a local food pantry in his hometown. Breuer does not make it to Philly Invasion with T7LA due to a scheduling conflict.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
August: Noah Syndergaard’s Yankees open up a seven game lead. He is joined by former Colorado Rockies player Daniel Murphy, now a spare part thanks to the emergence of Dom Smith. The Mets continue their free-fall as Alonso, McNeil, and Nimmo have all regressed. Jacob deGrom is in the running for the Cy Young despite having only 6 wins, and only three since April. But hey, that’s one more than Marcus Stroman.
Pete Alonso gets a day off and first baseman Robinson Cano goes 3 for 4 with two HRs. Following the game Pete announces his new animated Netflix series “Polar Bear & Homer.” Porcello donates $100,000 to a homeless shelter. An unnamed teammate gripes to the press that Porcello makes it all about himself.
Jim Breuer is unable to attend any games as he has announced a fall tour. Gary Cohen skips the West Coast trip. SNY has Andy Martino and Ron Darling cover the games.
Yoenis Cespedes hopes to play soon.
September: the Mets finally unveil the Seaver statute on a rainy Tuesday night. Fans feel it looks nothing like Seaver. Uni Watch observes that the Mets uniform depicted is one Tom never wore.
Jeff Wilpon announces he Mets will retire 15. The newspapers have gotten quite catty with Beltran, questioning his experience and in-game decision making. Pete Alonso has turned things around and bats .305 with ten home runs down the stretch, which is a great sign for 2021! Pete announces a book deal with publisher Judith Regan….but it’s not a bio. it’s the story of Homer The Chimp!
Robinson Cano has cooled off and looks like he will not win the MVP. Brodie Van Wagenen announces he will step down at the end of the season and return to CAA, overshadowing the news that Rick Porcello has donated $100,000 to Jon Stewart’s 9-11 foundation. John Franco’s sales of Porcello’s Philantrophy tees do not do well.
Yoenis Cespedes starts in Left Field on a rainy Tuesday night going 0for 3 in his only appearance.
The Mets finish 4th behind Joe Girardi’s Phillies, the Braves and the Nationals. Winning only 83 games, some Mets fans talk about boycotting the team until Cohen takes over.
October: the Yankees defeat the Rockies in a classic World Series thanks to clutch pitching by Noah Syndergaard (winner of Games 1, 4 and 7) and a huge Game 6 home run by Daniel Murphy. Jacob deGrom edges out Zack Wheeler as the NL Cy Young, despite winning only 11 games, but that’s five more than Marcus Stroman. Dom Smith is narrowly voted NL MVP after batting .387 for the Rockies.
NOVEMBER: Still-COO Jeff Wilpon announces that Omar Minaya will take over as the General Manager. Minaya and Beltran make some Los Mets jokes at the press conference. Pedro Martinez expresses interest in being a pitching coach. The Mets announce black uniforms will return as the home primary uniform in 2021. Rick Porcello signs with the Yankees. Pete Alonso and Homer The Chimp and featured on a float at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Time has resumed its shape. All is as it was before. Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your guide!
