Hello Mets!
As always I am here to HELP you even though it usually takes you a decade to listen to me.
This season we can celebrate your franchise’s 60th anniversary.
You have chosen to pretend you don’t have any players on the team right now, leaving you with little to promote. I am here to help you.
Put out a press release along the lines of “In our 60 years we have had some great moments and some less than great. Join us as we celebrate all out history with this series of fun events blah blah blah”
Seaver Statue and Keith Hernandez Day you got.
Yesterday there was some buzz when John Olerud wore a Mercury Mets shirt. You blew this one last year when you should have done it, but we don’t have a time machine so announce MERCURY METS DAY and just have fun with it. We know it sucked but we love it anyway. It will give everyone something to talk about.
Then announce the return of METTLE THE MULE. We know it was ridiculous, but we also know it happened no matter how much you want to bury it. Have a mule come by and Darren can sell t-shirts.
While we are at it, REUNITE THE THREE MR. METS. Steve can afford to have a paper mâché head (and you can honor Dan Reilly while at it). Drag out Mr. Met’s 1.5 costume from wherever that’s buried, and the current Mr. Met can come too. Family picture. Again WE ARE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF YOU REGARDLESS SO WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF.
While we’re doing this, something “2000” and something “David Wright Era” whatever those things might be. Do a better version of Bobby Bonilla Day while at it. Maybe Steve can give a zoom call explaining how financing works and how none of you paid for your house outright and are spreading out the payments over 30 years. Jeff isn’t so stupid now is he?
There you have your fun promotable events to have the sales staff and social media team talk about until the lockout ends on March 20th.
You are, as always, welcome.
