INT. MONK’S CAFE – DAY
Steve is holding a copy of the Wall Street Journal in his hands, looking quite pleased with himself.
STEVE: (contentedly) There’s nothing like starting the day with the Wall Street Journal. It really sets the tone for a successful day.
JERRY: (dryly) OK, Steve, we get it. You’re rich. You don’t have to rub it in our faces.
STEVE: (smiling smugly) It’s not about bragging, Jerry. It’s about being informed, staying ahead of the game.
JERRY: (sarcastically) Yeah, because knowing the stock market trends is crucial for deciding what cereal to eat in the morning.
STEVE: (smugly) Let’s see how many millions I made today. Being the smartest hedge fund trader has its perks.
As he scans the pages, his face falls upon seeing a headline: “The Mets Aren’t Even Good at Being Rich.” His expression sours.
Jerry, noticing the sudden change in Steve’s demeanor, looks up from what he’s doing.
JERRY: (concerned) What’s wrong, Steve? You look like someone just told you they’re turning Citi Field into a giant yoga studio.
STEVE: (holding up the journal) It’s worse. The Wall Street Journal… they wrote an article saying the Mets aren’t even good at being rich.
JERRY: (shrugging) So what? You’ve got enough money to buy your own newspaper and write glowing reviews about yourself. Why worry about what they say?
STEVE: (frustrated) Jerry, the entire reason I bought the Mets was for my ego. If they don’t stroke my ego, what’s the point of owning the team?
JERRY: (teasingly) I thought it was for the love of the game, not the love of the fame.
STEVE: (sighing) It’s not just fame, Jerry. It’s respect, admiration… winning.
JERRY: (smirking) Well, maybe you can buy their next article. How about “The Mets: Rich in Aura”?
At that moment, Kramer enters, full of energy.
KRAMER: (cheerfully) Hey, can I see that? I need to check my stock.
STEVE: (handing over the journal) Sure, go ahead.
Kramer eagerly scans the pages and suddenly beams with joy.
KRAMER: (excitedly) Look at this, Steve! My stock is way up!
JERRY: (inquiringly) Hold on, Kramer, you own stock? What stock do you own?
KRAMER: (proudly) DodgersCo, Jerry! I figured, why not invest in a winning team?
STEVE: (bitterly) DodgersCo? Really?
JERRY: (amused) DodgersCo? Since when did you become a fan of the Dodgers?
KRAMER: (philosophically) Jerry, in the world of stocks, it’s not about team loyalty; it’s about the greenbacks.
STEVE: (bitterly) Great, even Kramer’s betting against the Mets.
KRAMER: (nodding) Yeah, I figured I’d invest in something solid.
Steve sighs heavily, his frustration evident.
STEVE: (sighing) “It’s terrible,” this article says. “It’s not what I expected.”
JERRY: (joining them) What’s that, Steve?
STEVE: (gesturing to the journal) They’re saying the Mets need to follow the Dodgers’ model to succeed.
KRAMER: (cluelessly) Well, maybe they’re onto something, Steve. You know, “if you can’t beat them, join them.”
STEVE: (sarcastically) Great, I’ll just turn the Mets into the Dodgers overnight.
JERRY: well, you do have a clone of Ebbets Field
STEVE: not funny Jerry
JERRY: (teasingly) Maybe start by trading for some DodgersCo stock.