The Guerrero Gaffe

STEVE: (boasting) Jerry, guess who the Mets just signed? Vlad Guerrero. And get this—he called ME!

JERRY: (raising an eyebrow) Vlad Guerrero Jr.? That’s a big catch. What did you have to give up for him?

STEVE: (confused) Give up? Jerry, when you’re this good, players come to you. That’s the Uncle Steve charm!

JERRY:  Well, you are pretty charming, but I’m sure the Blue Jays didn’t give you Guerrero for nothing.

STEVE:  why do you keep bringing up Toronto?

At that moment, Kramer slides in, overhearing the conversation.

JERRY: (to Kramer) Kramer, tell him about Vlad Guerrero Jr. and the Blue Jays.

KRAMER: (casually) Oh yeah, Vlad Jr.’s a Blue Jay. But there’s this other guy, Vladimir Miguel Guerrero.

STEVE: (slowly) Vladimir Miguel Guerrero?

KRAMER: (nodding) Vladimir Miguel Guerrero.

JERRY: (puzzled) Not Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?

STEVE: (dawning horror) Not Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?

KRAMER: (clarifying) No, not Junior.   Vladimir Miguel Guerrero.

Steve’s face drops as realization dawns upon him.

STEVE: (stunned) Wait, there’s another one?

STEVE: (facepalming) I thought I was getting Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

JERRY: (mockingly) So, you got Vladimir Miguel Guerrero instead of Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?

STEVE: (exasperated) Yes, Jerry! Vladimir Miguel Guerrero, not Vladimir Guerrero Jr.!

JERRY:  Well, why did you sign Vladimir Miguel Guerrero?

STEVE:  Jerry, he called ME.  He said “Hi, this is Vlad Guerrero.  I said THE Vlad Guerrero, son of the Hall of Famer?  He said yes Jerry.  He said YES!”

JERRY:  Did you check with David?

STEVE (dismissively):  Jerry, I don’t check with David.  Kramer, are you sure this isn’t Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?

KRAMER: (nodding) Yep, Vlad Miguel is a prospect. Good player, but not the big-league superstar… yet.

STEVE: what do you mean, yet?

KRAMER:  well, he’s only 17,  He needs some seasoning.

JERRY:  Look at this way, you’ll have a new player in 2029.

STEVE: (panicking) You mean to tell me… I didn’t sign Vlad Guerrero Jr.?

JERRY: (slyly) Looks like you might have signed the “junior” member of the Guerrero family without knowing it.

 CITI FIELD – DAY

A banner hangs in the background announcing the newest Met, and a crowd of reporters buzzes with anticipation. Steve stands at the podium, his face betraying a tinge of embarrassment.

STEVE: (clearing his throat) Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today. We are thrilled to introduce a new addition to the Mets family.

He gestures to his side, where a young, enthusiastic player stands, beaming.

STEVE: (hesitantly) Please give a warm welcome to… Vladimir Miguel Guerrero.

The crowd murmurs in confusion, some reporters whispering amongst themselves, trying to reconcile the name with their expectations.

ADAM THE REPORTER : (calling out) Steve, is this the same Guerrero from the Blue Jays?

STEVE: (forcing a smile) Ah, well, no. This is Vladimir Miguel Guerrero, an exciting prospect with a big future ahead.

ADAM (perplexed) So, not Vladimir Guerrero Jr., the All-Star?

STEVE: (awkwardly) No, not Junior., but let’s not dwell on names. It‘s talent that truly makes a player. And we believe Vladimir Miguel here has talent in spades.

The young Guerrero steps forward, waving modestly, a stark contrast to the star power of his namesake.

STEVE:  Any more questions?  Yes, you in the back?

JERRY:  Any plans to sign Shohei Miguel Ohtani?

 

The Mets Police
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