The Outage


Steve is  looking perplexed and distressed. Jerry is in the kitchen, making a sandwich.

STEVE: (frustrated) I don’t get it, Jerry. Why aren’t any free agents calling me? I’ve got the money, the charm, the… Mets.

JERRY: (casually) Well, who’s your carrier?

STEVE:  (indignant)  Who’s my carrier?

JERRY: (bemused)  There was the AT&T outage today. Did you hear about that?

STEVE: (perking up) Outage? What outage?

JERRY: (walking over with his sandwich) Yeah, massive AT&T outage. No calls going in or out. It’s been chaos.

STEVE: (suddenly hopeful) So, you’re telling me there’s a reason no free agents have been calling? It’s not me; it’s AT&T?

JERRY: (taking a bite of his sandwich) Exactly. It’s not your lack of appeal; it’s the lack of a signal.

Just then, Kramer bursts into the apartment, phone in hand.

KRAMER: (excitedly) You guys won’t believe this! I’ve been trying to call you all day. There’s a huge AT&T outage!

STEVE: (to Jerry) You see? This explains everything!

JERRY: (dryly) Yeah, because the only thing standing between you and a championship team is reliable cell service.

KRAMER: I’m surprised you’re even here.  I heard on F-A-N that Ohtani’s people showed up at Citi Field, I figured you’d be there

STEVE: (anxiously) Ohtani’s people were at Citi Field?  I’ve been trying to get Ohtani’s attention for months!

KRAMER: (helpfully) Maybe you need to upgrade your cell plan.

STEVE: (ignoring Kramer’s suggestion) I have to fix this. Maybe I can still catch them!

JERRY: (chuckling) What are you going to do, Steve? Send a smoke signal from the rooftop?

The scene ends with Steve grabbing his coat and rushing out the door in a panic, determined to salvage the situation, while Kramer mulls over the logistics of training a carrier falcon, and Jerry finds amusement in the chaos of Steve’s predicament.


David, a Mets executive, sits at a large conference table across from Shohei Ohtani’s representatives, a team of impeccably dressed Japanese agents. The atmosphere is tense but hopeful.

DAVID: (trying to dial) Let me just get Steve on the line to finalize the details. He’s thrilled about the possibility of bringing Ohtani to the Mets.

He attempts to call Steve, but after a few seconds, he looks perplexed and tries again. The room is silent, save for the awkward sound of the call failing to connect.

JAPANESE AGENT 1: (concerned) Is there a problem?

DAVID: (embarrassed) It seems there’s a slight issue with our service provider . Let me try one more time.

He dials again, but no luck. The agents exchange glances, clearly unimpressed.

JAPANESE AGENT 2: (disappointed) In Japan, reliability is paramount. It is… troubling that your owner cannot be reached for such an important discussion.

DAVID: (apologetically) I assure you, this is highly unusual. Steve is very eager to speak with you.

JAPANESE AGENT 1: (dryly) It appears his eagerness does not extend to his choice of telecommunications provider.

The agents stand, preparing to leave.

DAVID: (desperately) Please, if you could just give us a moment. We can work this out.

JAPANESE AGENT 2: (politely) We appreciate your time, but we have a schedule to keep. Perhaps when Steve is more… accessible.


Shohei Ohtani’s representatives are calmly walking away from Citi Field when a disheveled and frantic Steve bursts onto the scene, desperately trying to catch their attention.

STEVE: (panting) Please, wait! You have to hear me out!

The representatives stop, turning with a mix of curiosity and impatience as Steve approaches, his tie askew and his demeanor frantic.

JAPANESE AGENT 1: (politely) We were under the impression you were unavailable to meet.

STEVE: (desperate) It was a misunderstanding! An AT&T outage. But I’m here now, and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to bring Ohtani to the Mets.

JAPANESE AGENT 2: (with a polite but cold smile) I’m afraid your… dedication, while admirable, comes a bit too late.

STEVE: (begging) No, please, you don’t understand. I can offer anything—better terms, a better deal, a casino!

The representatives exchange a glance, their decision already made.

JAPANESE AGENT 1: (gently) We appreciate your… enthusiasm. However, we seek a partnership that begins with reliability and trust—qualities today’s events have unfortunately cast into doubt.

STEVE: (pleading) I can fix this. Just give me a chance!

JAPANESE AGENT 2: (bowing slightly) We thank you for your time. We wish the Mets all the best in their future endeavors.

With that, the agents turn and walk away, leaving a defeated Steve standing alone, grappling with the realization that his technological mishap has cost him dearly.

STEVE: (muttering to himself) AT&T…