The Food In London


[Jerry and Steve are sitting in the living room. Jerry looks puzzled.]

Jerry: So, what’s this I hear about you saying the food in London is better than New York? That’s crazy talk!

Steve: (smiling slyly) Oh, Jerry. You don’t get it, do you?

Jerry: (confused) Get what? That you’ve lost your mind?

Steve: (leaning forward) I’m a genius, Jerry. A master of media manipulation.

Jerry: (skeptical) Okay, I’ll bite. How does saying something ridiculous about London’s food make you a genius?

Steve: (grinning) Because, my friend, it’s a distraction. Have you noticed what the sports media has been talking about lately?

Jerry: (shrugging) I don’t know, the Mets being in fourth place?

Steve: (snapping his fingers) Wrong!. By saying something outrageous and controversial about London’s food being better than New York’s, I’ve shifted the conversation. Now, instead of talking about the Mets’ record, everyone’s talking about my food opinions!

Jerry: (realization dawning) Wait a minute… you’re telling me you said that stuff about London’s food on purpose? Just to distract people from the Mets’ performance?

Steve: (nodding, looking proud) Exactly! It’s a classic misdirection play. Get the media and the fans talking about something else, and suddenly, the heat is off the team.

Jerry: (shaking his head, smiling) Steve, you’re an evil genius. A twisted, manipulative mastermind.

Steve: (laughing) Hey, it’s all part of the game, Jerry. Sometimes you have to throw a curveball to keep everyone on their toes.


Gelbs: Steve, can you give us an update on Kodai Senga’s progress and when he might return to the rotation?

Steve:   You know, before I answer that, I just want to say something. The Godfather is a very, very overrated movie.

[The room falls silent. Reporters exchange confused glances.]

Reporter 1: (hesitantly) What does The Godfather have to do with Kodai Senga?

Steve: (shrugging) Nothing. But I just wanted to put it out there. The Godfather? Terrible movie. Overrated.

Gelbs: (shocked) But, The Godfather is widely considered one of the greatest films of all time!

Steve: (shaking his head) Nope. Overrated. I fell asleep halfway through. Boring.

Gelbs: (trying to get back on track) Steve, about Kodai Senga…

Steve: (interrupting) And don’t even get me started on Al Pacino’s performance. Talk about phoning it in.

Reporter: (incredulous) Steve, are you seriously suggesting that Al Pacino’s iconic portrayal of Michael Corleone was bad?

Steve: (nodding) Yep. Overrated. Terrible acting. I’ve seen better performances in high school plays.

Reporter (frustrated) Can we please get back to baseball? What about Kodai Senga’s rehab?

Steve: (waving dismissively) Oh, right. Senga. He’s fine. Progressing well. But seriously, The Godfather? Garbage.  Godfather II, even worse. Godfather III though…not bad.


[The audience applauds as Jimmy Kimmel welcomes his guest.]

Jimmy Kimmel: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the legendary Al Pacino!

[Al Pacino walks out, waving to the audience. He takes a seat next to Jimmy.]

Jimmy Kimmel: Al, thank you so much for being here. I have to ask, have you heard about the Mets owner’s recent comments?

Al Pacino: (chuckling) You mean the guy who thinks The Godfather is overrated? Yeah, I heard about that.

Jimmy Kimmel: (grinning) What’s your response to that? I mean, you played Michael Corleone, one of the most iconic roles in cinema history!

Al Pacino: (shrugging) Well, Jimmy, everyone’s entitled to their opinion. Even if it’s a wrong one.

[The audience laughs.]

Al Pacino: (smirking) I mean, if this guy doesn’t appreciate The Godfather, that’s his loss. Maybe he’s more of a Sharknado kind of guy.

Jimmy Kimmel: (laughing) At least the sharks won when they played at Citi Field.

Al Pacino: (shaking his head) Poor guy. He clearly doesn’t know greatness when he sees it.

Jimmy Kimmel: (leaning in) And what about his comments on the food in London being better than New York?

Al Pacino: (scoffing) Oh, don’t get me started on that. I’ve been to London. The food’s fine, but come on. Better than New York? Fuggedaboutit!

Jimmy Kimmel: (nodding) Right? I mean, has he ever had a slice of pizza from Di Fara? Or a pastrami sandwich from Katz’s Deli?

Al Pacino: (grinning) Exactly! New York has some of the best food in the world. And don’t even get me started on the bagels.

Jimmy Kimmel: (chuckling) Maybe that’s why the Mets are in fourth place. The owner is too busy eating fish and chips to focus on the team.

Al Pacino: (laughing) Hey, if he wants to trade places, I’ll happily take over the Mets. At least I know a good movie and a good meal when I see one.

[The audience cheers and applauds.]


[The gang ares itting on the couch, watching Jimmy Kimmel Live on TV. Al Pacino is on the screen, talking to Jimmy.]

Al Pacino (on TV): (laughing) Hey, if he wants to trade places, I’ll happily take over the Mets. At least I know a good movie and a good meal when I see one.

[The audience on the TV cheers and applauds. Steve looks horrified.]

Steve: (shocked) I can’t believe this. Al Pacino is making fun of me on national television!

Jerry: (smirking) Well, what did you expect? You did say The Godfather was overrated.

Steve: (defensive) It was a distraction!

Jerry: (chuckling) Well, it worked. Nobody’s talking about the 4th place Mets now!

[Al Pacino continues talking on the TV.]

Al Pacino (on TV): And if Steve needs a movie recommendation, tell him to start with The Godfather. Maybe he’ll learn a thing or two.

Steve: (groaning) Oh, come on! Now he’s just rubbing it in!

Jerry: (laughing) You’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty funny. Al Pacino, giving you movie advice.

Steve: (sulking) It’s not funny, Jerry. It’s humiliating. I’m a respected businessman, and now I’m being mocked by a Hollywood legend.

Elaine: Well I dunno about respected.