INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY
[Jerry, Elaine, and Steve are hanging out]
Elaine: Whatever happened with that Soto guy? I thought you guys were going to sign him.
Steve: (defensive) We made a very competitive offer! Very competitive!
Jerry: Did you though? Because that’s what you said about Ohtani.
Steve: (getting worked up) Ohtani didn’t want to come to New York! Everyone knows that!
Jerry: And Yamamoto?
Steve: (more defensive) We were RIGHT THERE with the offer!
Elaine: (checking her phone) And now the Dodgers just signed Snell…
Steve: (stands up, pacing) Look, you don’t understand how these negotiations work. It’s very complicated!
Jerry: Is it? Seems pretty simple. Other teams offer money, players sign with them. You offer money, players sign somewhere else.
[Kramer bursts through the door]
Kramer: Hey, you’ll never believe who was just in Boston! Juan Soto! He was at Fenway Park wearing a Red Sox jacket!
Steve: (deflating) That’s… that’s impossible. We’re still in negotiations!
Jerry: Are you though? Or are you just telling everyone you’re “in” on every free agent?
Elaine: Yeah, like when you said you were “in” on Verlander.
Steve: (defensive) We signed Verlander!
Elaine: And how’d that work out?
[Newman enters]
Jerry: Hello Newman.
Newman: Hello, Je-rry. (turns to Steve) Hey, I just saw on Twitter that Mark Gooden is reporting the Mets are “in” on trading for Mike Trout?
Steve: (perking up) Well, you know, we’re exploring all possibilities…
Jerry: (interrupting) See? This is exactly what I’m talking about!
Elaine: Steve, you’re like that guy who says he’s “talking to” someone but never actually goes on a date.
Kramer: (excited) Oh! That gives me another t-shirt idea: “The Mets – We’re Talking To Everybody!”
Steve: (defensive) We make competitive offers! It’s not our fault if players choose to sign elsewhere!
Elaine: The Angels just tweeted that the Mike Trout rumor is completely false.
Steve: (quickly) Well, we never actually said we were pursuing him…
Jerry: But you were “in” on him, right?
[Everyone laughs except Steve]
Kramer: (pulling out more shirts) Look, I’ve got “Almost A Met” shirts too! And “We Were This Close” shirts! And my personal favorite: “Maybe Next Year”!
Steve: (getting up) I have to go. I’ve got a meeting about potentially signing… someone.
Jerry: Let me guess – it’s very complicated?
Steve: (at the door) You’ll see! We’re going to sign someone big! Just wait!
[Steve leaves]
Elaine: Ten bucks says that “someone” signs with the Dodgers tomorrow.
Jerry: That’s not fair. Could be the Yankees.
Kramer: (still focused on his shirts) Hey, should I start printing “Future Dodger” shirts instead?