The Headfake

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jerry: So, are you done?

Steve: (confused) What do you mean done?

Jerry: You know, done. Are you finished?

Steve: (getting it) Oh, you mean am I done signing players?

Jerry: Yeah, I mean sure you got Soto, but are you going to do anything else?

Steve: (smirking) Jerry, why would I do anything else?

Jerry: I don’t know, maybe to win the World Series for a change?

Steve: (leaning back, very pleased with himself) Jerry, you don’t get it. These idiots LOVE me.

Jerry: (skeptical) Love you?

Steve: I sign Soto and leak that we’re retiring David Wright’s number, and suddenly everyone forgets we finished third last year!

Jerry: But don’t you want to actually win something?

Steve: (laughing) Win? Jerry, we sold more tickets last week than we have in years. Why would I spend any more money?  I’ve already won.

Jerry: So that’s it? Soto and a retired number?

Steve: (grinning) And don’t forget the Grimace! People are still talking about that!

Jerry: (incredulous) You’re telling me your master plan is to just… do nothing?

Steve: Not nothing, Jerry. We’re very “in” on several players.

Jerry: But you’re not actually going to sign them.

Steve: (standing up proudly) Nope! And the best part? The fans will still blame the players for not wanting to come to New York!

[Kramer bursts in wearing a “Soto & Wright & That’s Alright” t-shirt]

Kramer: Hey Steve, when are the Wright number retirement tickets going on sale?

Steve: (winking at Jerry) See what I mean?

[The scene fades out as Jerry shakes his head in disbelief]