The Rotation

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Jerry: What’s going on with  the pitching?

Steve: (confused) What about it?

Jerry: You know, the pitching. The guys who stand on the mound and throw the ball to start the game.

Steve: (defensive) We have pitching!

Jerry: Do you? Montas is hurt, Manaea’s hurt…

Steve: (waving it off) Minor setbacks! We have depth!

Jerry: Depth? Your depth is Tylor Megill and some guys I’ve never heard of.

Steve: Paul Blackburn is very underrated!

 

Elaine: Are you talking about the Mets’ pitching disaster?

Steve: (annoyed) It’s not a disaster!

Elaine: Clay Holmes has never thrown more than 70 innings in his career, and now he’s in your rotation?

Steve: (defensive) He’s expanding his arsenal!

Jerry: (sarcastically) What arsenal? A water pistol and a slingshot?

Steve: We have a pitching lab!

Elaine: A pitching lab? What is that, where you create pitchers in test tubes?

Jerry: I think it’s just a fancy room with cameras.

Steve: (proudly) It’s state of the art!

Jerry: So is my toaster, but it can’t throw a slider.

Steve: (getting frustrated) Look, David  knows what he’s doing!

Jerry: Sure, I mean after last year’s third place winners, who is to question David’s wisdom?   Maybe what he’s doing is trying to set the record for most minor league call-ups in April.

Elaine: (checking her phone) It says here you’re planning a six-man rotation, but you only have three healthy starters.

Jerry: That’s the Mets math. Three starters plus hope equals six.

Steve: (defensive) We’re developing our young arms!

Jerry: Developing them? You’re about to break them! Your pitching depth is as thin as that half-assed museum you stuck in the corner.

[Steve’s phone rings]

Steve: (answering) Hello? What? Another one? How is that even possible?

[Steve hangs up, looking dejected]

Jerry: Let me guess, another pitcher hurt?

Steve: (weakly) Senga has… elbow discomfort.

Elaine: (laughing) So now your rotation is… who exactly?

Steve: (brightening) I know! We’ll have a bullpen game!

Jerry: Oh believe me, you’re going to have bullpen games.

Steve:  The Rays have proven a bullpen game can be very successful.

Jerry: Every day?

Steve: If we have to!

Jerry: Oh believe me, you’re going to have bullpen games.

Steve: (getting up) I have to go make some calls.

 [Steve exits as Jerry and Elaine exchange knowing looks]

Jerry: I give it three weeks before Kramer is pitching for the Mets.

 

The Mets Police
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