INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Jerry: What’s going on with the pitching?
Steve: (confused) What about it?
Jerry: You know, the pitching. The guys who stand on the mound and throw the ball to start the game.
Steve: (defensive) We have pitching!
Jerry: Do you? Montas is hurt, Manaea’s hurt…
Steve: (waving it off) Minor setbacks! We have depth!
Jerry: Depth? Your depth is Tylor Megill and some guys I’ve never heard of.
Steve: Paul Blackburn is very underrated!
Elaine: Are you talking about the Mets’ pitching disaster?
Steve: (annoyed) It’s not a disaster!
Elaine: Clay Holmes has never thrown more than 70 innings in his career, and now he’s in your rotation?
Steve: (defensive) He’s expanding his arsenal!
Jerry: (sarcastically) What arsenal? A water pistol and a slingshot?
Steve: We have a pitching lab!
Elaine: A pitching lab? What is that, where you create pitchers in test tubes?
Jerry: I think it’s just a fancy room with cameras.
Steve: (proudly) It’s state of the art!
Jerry: So is my toaster, but it can’t throw a slider.
Steve: (getting frustrated) Look, David knows what he’s doing!
Jerry: Sure, I mean after last year’s third place winners, who is to question David’s wisdom? Maybe what he’s doing is trying to set the record for most minor league call-ups in April.
Elaine: (checking her phone) It says here you’re planning a six-man rotation, but you only have three healthy starters.
Jerry: That’s the Mets math. Three starters plus hope equals six.
Steve: (defensive) We’re developing our young arms!
Jerry: Developing them? You’re about to break them! Your pitching depth is as thin as that half-assed museum you stuck in the corner.
[Steve’s phone rings]
Steve: (answering) Hello? What? Another one? How is that even possible?
[Steve hangs up, looking dejected]
Jerry: Let me guess, another pitcher hurt?
Steve: (weakly) Senga has… elbow discomfort.
Elaine: (laughing) So now your rotation is… who exactly?
Steve: (brightening) I know! We’ll have a bullpen game!
Jerry: Oh believe me, you’re going to have bullpen games.
Steve: The Rays have proven a bullpen game can be very successful.
Jerry: Every day?
Steve: If we have to!
Jerry: Oh believe me, you’re going to have bullpen games.
Steve: (getting up) I have to go make some calls.
[Steve exits as Jerry and Elaine exchange knowing looks]
Jerry: I give it three weeks before Kramer is pitching for the Mets.