INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY
[Jerry, Elaine, and Steve are sitting around the living room when Kramer and Newman burst in]
Jerry: What the hell are you two wearing?
Kramer: (proudly modeling) It’s the new Mets and NYC or Nothing collection, Jerry! Fifty-two carefully curated pieces!
Newman: (smugly) Very exclusive. Very fashion-forward.
Elaine: (confused) NYC or NothingWhat does that even mean?
Steve: (excited) It’s our new brand partnership! We’re elevating the Mets brand by becoming more embedded in fashion culture.
Jerry: (sarcastically) Because that’s what baseball fans care about – fashion culture.
Newman: (defensive) It’s iconic, Jerry!
Kramer: They’re calling them “iconic pieces” and they’re not even in stores yet!
Elaine: (examining Newman’s hat) Is that Mike Piazza’s signature on there?
Steve: (proudly) Yes! Every piece has a connection to Mets history.
Elaine: Doesn’t Mike Piazza live in Italy now?
Jerry: (smirking) I guess Italy is “Nothing.”
Steve: (defensively) Our fans have been asking for this collaboration for quite some time!
Jerry: Your fans have been asking for pitching for quite some time too.
Kramer: (modeling) Don’t you see, Jerry? It’s not about winning! It’s about looking good while losing!
Steve: (offended) It’s about elevating the brand!
Jerry: (deadpan) Right. Because nothing says “elevated brand” like finishing third in the division while wearing a $200 hat.
Steve: Hey, we made the NLCS!
Jerry: And how many rings is that?
Newman: (admiring himself) I can’t wait to wear this to the ballpark and on the streets of New York City.
Jerry: (to Steve) So instead of putting money into players, you’re putting it into… curated fashion pieces?
Steve: (proudly) Fifty-two of them!
Elaine: (to Steve) You know what would really elevate your brand? Winning a World Series.