INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Jerry is on the couch flipping through channels waiting for the Knicks to come on at 10.. Steve bursts in, excited!
STEVE: Jerry, do you see the smoke?!
JERRY: Smoke? What smoke?
STEVE: The smoke, Jerry! The buzz! The chatter!
JERRY: You mean that burnt bagel smell from downstairs?
STEVE: No! The baseball smoke! Something big is happening!
JERRY: Oh, good. I thought we were evacuating.
STEVE: We made a massive offer. Historic.
JERRY: How historic?
STEVE: Like… museum wing historic.
JERRY: That didn’t work out so great.
STEVE: Kyle Tucker.
Jerry stops flipping.
JERRY: Kyle Tucker?
STEVE: That’s right. The paperwork is being signed as we speak.
JERRY: You sound very confident.
STEVE: I am confident. I can feel it.
JERRY: You felt Ohtani too.
STEVE: Different feeling.
JERRY: Same phone?
STEVE: This one’s locked in. Locked!
JERRY: Did he call you?
STEVE: …No.
JERRY: Then why are you smiling?
STEVE: Because I made an impression.
JERRY:You always make an impression. Just never the right one.
Door flies open — Kramer skids in
KRAMER: Guys, guys, guys!
STEVE: (grinning) Here it comes! The confirmation!
KRAMER: Passan just tweeted!
STEVE: See?! SEE?!
KRAMER: Kyle Tucker… Dodgers.
Dead silence.
STEVE: What?
KRAMER: Signed. Los Angeles.
STEVE: No. No, that’s impossible.
JERRY: Why? It’s been a possible every off-season since you started trying to sign free agents.
STEVE: They were signing paperwork!
KRAMER: Yeah, just not your paperwork.
STEVE: This can’t be right.
JERRY: You wanna refresh?
STEVE: I don’t need to refresh!
KRAMER: You should refresh.
Steve snatches Kramer’s phone, reads. His face collapses.
STEVE: Dodgers… again?!
JERRY: You’re like their minor league system.
STEVE: I made a serious offer!
JERRY: So does every car dealership.
STEVE: I flew people in!
JERRY: You gotta start flying them out.
STEVE: He was THIS close!
JERRY: Everyone is “this close” to not being a Met.
Steve sinks onto the couch.
STEVE: I don’t get it.
KRAMER: It’s simple, Steve. The Dodgers have… (gestures grandly)…the magic.
STEVE: I have money!
JERRY: Yeah, but they have wins.
STEVE: They didn’t even call me!
JERRY: Nobody calls you, Steve.
STEVE: I wait by the phone!
JERRY: So does Domino’s.