INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Jerry is on the couch sipping coffee, calm, relaxed. It’s clearly a beautiful day outside. Steve bursts in, energized, wearing Mets gear.
STEVE: Opening Day, Jerry! Opening Day!
JERRY: Yeah.
STEVE: Yeah?! That’s it?! It’s Opening Day! The air! The energy! The optimism!
JERRY: I’m not going.
Steve freezes.
STEVE: What do you mean….. you’re not going?
JERRY: I’m not going.
STEVE: It’s gonna be beautiful out! Sixty-five degrees! Sunshine!
JERRY: Yeah, that’s the problem. Too nice. You go to a baseball game, you lose the whole day.
STEVE: Lose the whole day?!
JERRY: You gotta get there early, you sit in traffic, you pay—what is it now—fifty bucks to park?
STEVE: It’s not fifty.
JERRY: Forty-five?
STEVE: …Fifty.
JERRY: Fifty dollars to store your car so I can watch your team lose slowly over three hours?
STEVE: It’s the experience!
JERRY: I can experience losing right here on my couch. And I don’t have to sit next to a guy eating nachos like it’s a construction project.
Kramer slides in, very casual, no Mets gear.
STEVE: Kramer! There he is! You’re going, right?
KRAMER: (shakes head) Nope.
STEVE: Nope?!
KRAMER: You got rid of my favorite player.
STEVE: Who? Alonso?
KRAMER: Brandon Nimmo.
STEVE: Nimmo?!
KRAMER: I loved Nimmo! The smile! The hustle! The running to first base like he just heard free food was being served!
JERRY: That was his whole personality.
STEVE: We’ve got new guys!
KRAMER: I don’t want new guys.
STEVE: These are exciting players!
KRAMER: Are they Nimmo?
STEVE: No, but—
KRAMER: Then I’m not interested.
ELAINE enters,, ready for the day.
ELAINE: What’s going on?
JERRY: Steve’s trying to get people to go to Opening Day.
ELAINE: Oh, I’m not going.
STEVE: You’re not going either?!
ELAINE: No! How am I gonna get there? Either I pay the congestion fee just to get to the 59th Street Bridge, or I gotta pay, what—thirty bucks in tolls to take the Triboro…
JERRY: Mm-hmm.
ELAINE: …then what, I get there and it’s what—forty to park?
JERRY & STEVE (simultaneously): Fifty.
ELAINE: Fifty?!
STEVE: It’s premium parking.
ELAINE: Premium?! The car just sits there!
KRAMER: Why don’t you just take the bus? It’s free.
ELAINE: Free? What do you mean free?
KRAMER: Mamdani! The buses are free!
JERRY: Kramer… he never actually did that.
KRAMER: He said he was going to!
JERRY: Well… he didn’t.
STEVE: This is unbelievable! Opening Day and nobody wants to go!
JERRY: Steve, people go to Opening Day for hope
ELAINE: You don’t have hope.
KRAMER: You have… transition.
STEVE: We have a new culture! You’ll all regret this.
JERRY: I doubt it.
KRAMER: Bring back Nimmo!
ELAINE: How much are tickets?
STEVE: Ninety-two.
ELAINE: Ninety-two?! It’s ninety-two to get in, fifty to park, thirty in tolls—
and you’re wondering why I’m not going?!
JERRY: That’s a hundred seventy-two before you even see a pitch.
KRAMER: And not to mention the shortstop hates the fans.
JERRY: Oh don’t get me started on that guy.
Steve storms out as the door slams.
ELAINE: Send pictures of the empty seats!
Steve exits. Beat.
JERRY: Sixty-five degrees…
KRAMER: Perfect couch weather.