Steve Cohen’s Mets customer service

Steve is in for quite the summer. The Uncle Steve thing is wearing off quickly.  I’m at soccer today and can’t really deal with this but @mediagoon is on the case and shared this one.

A zing line is not a good look   Put the phone away like you do when the Mets go on a losing streak

I will be curious to see what happens to the baseball project if the casino project does not get approved

Being the Uncle Steve Savior Character is fun  being James Dolan overseeing a 90 loss season might not be – and he’s running out of numbers to retire, and as we are aeeeing today, that card is no longer working


Mets City Connect Design Cap leak

This could have been a lot worse.  Does t seem very purple

It will also pair well with the new black jersey

wont the bridge be invisible on tv?

busy morning here in the Mets Police mobile unit

Plenty of good seats available

The signs have been there that the Mets have been worried about them.   But the signs have been there since the t-shirt army checked out last summer.  I tried to warn Steve but he ignored me.  More on Steve in my next post.

The 7 Line’s Los Mets Cap

This is kind of bizarre. I want to hate it but I actually don’t.

From 2007–2014, the Mets celebrated “Hispanic Heritage Night” once each season with a special jersey, featuring the phrase “Los Mets” in place of the traditional “Mets” wordmark. With the ball clubs rich history of not only latin players, but fans, we decided to bring it back on tees and hoodies in 2019.

The Tweet


Steve bursts into Jerry’s apartment, his face alive with excitement.

STEVE: Hey, guess what? The Mets took two out of three from Atlanta! The Mets are back, baby!

Jerry glances up from his newspaper, raising an eyebrow at Steve’s enthusiasm.

JERRY: Ah, the rollercoaster of Mets fandom.  Say, how’s it going with Dwight Gooden Day?

Steve’s expression shifts from jubilation to a more somber tone as he slumps into a nearby chair.

STEVE: (sighing) Why’d you have to bring that up, Jerry? It’s not going well. Lots of tickets left.

JERRY: (teasing) Did you go on Twitter to hawk tickets?

STEVE: (defensive) Yes, Jerry, I went on Twitter. Twice.

JERRY: (smirking) Well, good thing they won. You only go on twitter when they win.

STEVE: (disputing) That’s not true.

Elaine, who has been scrolling through her phone, chimes in with a mischievous grin.

ELAINE: Actually, Jerry’s right. You only come on when the team wins.  You talk about wins and you try to sell tickets.  You never come on after a loss.

JERRY:  She’s right ya know. You do tend to disappear when the going gets rough. Like week one when the Mets lost 5 in a row to start the season.  Nothing.  Mets take two of three, Stevie Boy’s phone starts working again.

Steve’s face falls, realizing his social media habits have been exposed. He tries to save face, but it’s clear he’s been caught out.

STEVE: (sheepishly) Well, you know, it’s all about timing. Can’t blame a guy for wanting to capitalize on the good moments, right?

JERRY: (chuckling) Well, look, if you’re waiting for something good to happen with the Mets, you’re gonna be waiting a long time. I’ve been waiting since 1986.

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle, knowing all too well the ups and downs of being a Mets fan.

STEVE: Yeah, tell me about it.


Chad, the social media intern, sits at his desk, tapping away at his keyboard. Steve enters, a determined look on his face.

STEVE: Chad, got a minute?

CHAD: Of course, Mister Steve. What can I do for you?

STEVE: I need your expertise on something delicate. You know, a tweet for those… uh, less triumphant moments.

CHAD: Ah, the ol’ “we’ll get ’em next time” special. I got you covered, Mister Steve.

Chad cracks his knuckles with a confident grin.

CHAD: I’ll whip up something classy yet reassuring, Mister Steve. You can count on me.

STEVE: Appreciate it, Chad. Let me know when it’s ready.

Steve nods, turning to leave as Chad gets to work, the click-clack of his keyboard filling the room.


Steve sits at his desk, surrounded by paperwork. He sighs, rubbing his temples as he picks up the phone.

STEVE: David, could you come in here for a moment?

David enters, a stack of papers in hand.

DAVID: What’s up, boss?

STEVE: Who is Julio Teheran, and why is Payroll asking me to sign a check for $150,000?

DAVID: Oh, Julio Teheran… he was a pitcher we signed for a brief stint.

STEVE: Brief stint?

DAVID: Yeah, he only lasted 2 and 2/3 innings. Then I cut him

STEVE:  You cut him?

DAVID:  He wasn’t very good.

STEVE:  Then why did you sign him if he’s not very good?

DAVID:  I had a hunch.

STEVE: A hunch? For 2 and 2/3 innings? I’m paying a guy $150,000 for 2 and 2/3 innings? I may be rich, but nobody’s that rich. How much is that per out?

Steve leans back in his chair, looking perplexed.

DAVID: Let me do the math… It’s uh, probably quite a lot, Steve.

As David calculates, Chad walks in, looking sheepish.

CHAD: Uh, Mister Steve, I, uh… I sent out the tweet from your account.

STEVE: Well, what does it say?

CHAD: Um, well… It says, “Looks like the Mets forgot how to play baseball again. Maybe they should try a different sport. #Embarrassing #MetsMisery”

Steve winces at the tweet, clearly horrified.

STEVE: Oh no…

DAVID: And uh, regarding Julio Teheran… it comes out to about $56,250 per out.

Steve buries his face in his hands, realizing the financial folly of his decisions.