After the 1979 season:
“Ok we really screwed the pooch last season. Â We’ve lost all our fans, we drew under 800,000, what are we gonna do now?”
“Let’s appeal to the 10 year old Lee Mazzilli fans. Â I bet if we give them something they can relate to they will be fans for life. Â We can be “the people’s team!”
“You sure? Â I was thinking we could import players from Japan. Â The Japanese Willie Stargell is pretty good I hear.”
“The actual Willie Stargell is overrated. Â Keith Hernandez was the true MVP.”
“Who?”
“Never mind. Â Just stick a kid on there and work Mazzilli in. Â If we rope in another generation of fans we’ll be OK for the next 30 years. Â Â Meanwhile, I have another idea – let’s put half the games on cable television.”
“But they don’t get cable in Queens! Â I heard it will be 1987 before all the wiring is done….”
“I’m telling you these people are sheep! Â This time jack the price of the yearbook 50 cents! Â Bwahahahahaha!”