The Mets Police

Watch THIS video.  Poor kid.  Time to clean this up @mets.

https://x.com/mattskumar1/status/1883254896344105176?s=61

It’s still unclear which jersey this replaces as you’re only allowed 4 plus City Connect….and I stand by what I have been saying about the lettering.  Because they didn’t fill in the orange, they will be illegible from more than 5 feet away.  An unforced error and really really solvable.

At least they aren’t black.  The Mets have done far worse things in their life, but this are kinda unnecessary, especially when the traditional road jerseys are perfect.

Images via @mets

Note the design has left handed and right handed versions so you can see the sponsor tag on TV.   Unifoms should be….uniform, no?

And for younger fans, the Mets wore this lettering for one season, the ill-fated 1987.   May all the demons from 1987 visit Lindor, who you may remember, booed the fans, an unforgivable sin.

Even Tom Seaver wore one during his almost-comeback.

Exterior: Paddy’s Pub – Day

The gang is huddled around the bar, beers in hand, while Dennis scrolls on his phone with a smug expression.

Dennis: (holding up his phone) Guys, check this out. A bunch of losers in Queens ran a fan thing called the Queens Baseball Convention. Big turnout, fan engagement, sponsors, you name it.  Didn’t even have an official tie-in.  Seemed people really liked it. and they made money.  You know what that means?

Mac: Yeah. That Mets fans are a bunch of nerds who’ll pay money for anything.

Dennis: No, Mac, it means opportunity. These idiots managed to turn their undying devotion to a garbage team into cash. Cash we could be making.

Charlie: (excited) Oh, like a scam! I love scams. What are we doin’? Fake baseball cards?

Dennis: (leaning in)  Bigger. Why don’t we reach out to the Mets and pitch ourselves as the perfect people to run their fanfest?

Act 1 

Dee: (rolling her eyes) The Mets? Aren’t they, like, broke or something?

Frank: (defensive) Uh, the Mets are a New York institution. Show some respect.

Dennis: Exactly, Frank. The Mets have legacy. They have brand value. And they have a desperate fanbase that’s dying for hope. We’re gonna package that desperation into an event so mind-blowingly vague, they’ll beg us to take their money.

Dee: Oh yeah? And what makes you think we can run a Mets fanfest?

Dennis: (condescending) Dee. Sweet Dee. What’s the one thing we’re all incredible at?

Charlie: (nodding) Drinking.

Dennis: No, Charlie. Scheming. We’re schemers, and no one schemes harder than us. The Mets’ll see that we’re innovators. Visionaries. Leaders.

Mac: (excited) Yeah, and I could be in charge of security. We’ll keep everything tight, make it feel legit.

Charlie: (nodding) Ooh, and I could run concessions. I got all these ideas for, like, themed snacks. Like, uh, “Mr. Met Meatballs,” but they’re just loose meat in a cup.

Dee: (interrupting) What about me? I could design new Mets road uniforms, you know? Something sleek and modern.

Dennis: (immediately shutting her down) No. Shut up, bird.

Mac: Yeah, Dee, we’re talking about baseball, not your weird fashion fantasies.

Dee: (indignant) It’s not a fantasy. The Mets do need a rebrand. They’ve been wearing the same dumb road uniforms forever—

Dennis: (cutting her off) No one cares, Dee!  Why would the Mets change their road uniforms?  We’re not reinventing the Mets. We’re monetizing their fans.

Charlie: (excited) Yeah, and we’ll have autograph sessions, but like, outside in the cold so they have to buy hot drinks!

Mac: Wait, why outside?

Dennis: (leaning back confidently) Because it creates exclusivity, Mac. Fans will endure anything if they think it’s special. Cold weather? Long lines? That just makes it feel important.

Charlie: Ohhh, yeah, yeah. Like when you make me wait outside the bar so people think it’s crowded.

Dennis:  Exactly. And we won’t even tell these suckers which players are signing.

Dee: (sarcastic) Wow. Genius. Make people suffer to feel important.

Dennis: (snapping) Shut up, Dee.

Dennis: (ignoring her)  We’ll call it …..“Amazin’ Day.”

Charlie:  Sounds lame. What’s so “amazin’” about it?

Dennis:  It’s Amazin’ because we say it is.

Mac: (standing) I’m sold. Let’s pitch this thing to the Mets.

Act 2: Paddy’s Pub – A Week Later

The gang is seated around the bar, huddled over a laptop. Dennis is typing furiously as the others throw out ideas.

Dennis: (reading aloud as he types) “Dear New York Mets, as lifelong fans—”

Dee: (interrupting) Wait, we’re not lifelong fans.

Mac: (pointing at her) Shut up, Dee. You don’t understand marketing. As long as we bring in some sponsors, the Mets will go for whatever we’re pitching.

Charlie: Fanatics says they’re in.

Dee: What about Topps?

Dennis (mockingly):  What about Topps?  Fanatics owns Topps. Will you just shut up.

Mac: We need a beer sponsor.

Dennis:  Coors Light even spends money on this dump.  They’ll totally go in on this, I’ll call them when we’re done.

Dennis: (resumes reading letter to the Mets) “—we understand your fans better than anyone. We’re not just passionate; we’re experts in creating unforgettable experiences that maximize fan engagement and revenue streams.”

Mac:  Wait…we don’t understand their fans at all.  We’re Phillies fans.

Dennis:  Nobody who works for the Mets understands their fans.  They had a god damn Dance team last year.  You think anyone up there running things understands their fans or even cares.  It’s all about the dollars.

Charlie: Yeah, and we’ll throw in, like, a mascot fight or somethin’. People love mascots punching each other.

Dennis: (nodding) That’s actually not a bad idea. Mascots equal family appeal. Write that down, Charlie.

Charlie: (scribbling on a napkin) Got it.

Dee: Can I pitch my uniform redesign now?

Dennis: (snapping) No, Dee! No one cares about your stupid uniforms.  The Mets road uniforms are fine. Why in the name of God would the Mets redesign their road uniforms? Are you an idiot?  it’s the one thing the Mets have right, and you wanna design new road jerseys?

Mac: Guys, focus. We’ve got to nail this pitch. The Mets aren’t just gonna hand over their fanfest to a bunch of nobodies that came to baseball from other industries.

Dennis: (smirking) That’s where you’re wrong, Mac. The Mets always bring in people from other industries.  The Mets are desperate. And desperation makes people… vulnerable.

Act 3: Mets Office – Day

The gang is sitting across from a tired-looking Mets executive. Dennis is leading the pitch.

Dennis: (confidently) Picture this:  Amazin’ Day.  An all day immersive fan experience. Sessions tailored to every demographic. Autograph signings, exclusive merch drops, mascot fights, and VIP packages.

Charlie: But mostly things we can monetize.  Like, we’ll charge extra for the cold autograph lines.

Mets Executive (confused): Cold autograph lines?

Dennis: (calmly) Exclusivity.  People pay more when they think they’re suffering for something special.  You guys have some sort of podcast right? We’ll go on that and announce all this, they’ll eat it up.

Mets Executive (still skeptical) I don’t know…

Mac: (leaning in) We’ll also keep security tight. No weirdos sneaking in.

Dennis: (quickly) Ignore him. The point is, this event will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that Mets fans will talk about for years. All we need is your go-ahead, and we’ll handle the rest.

 

Act 4: Paddy’s Pub – Planning Phase

The gang is scrambling to organize a  “demo” of their fanfest idea to impress the Mets.

Mac: Okay, so we’ll need costumes for the mascot fight. Charlie, you’re Mr. Met. Dee, you’re whatever the Mets’ enemy is.

Dennis:  You mean winning?

Dee: (offended) Why do I have to be the enemy?

Dennis: Dee, stop making this about you. Focus on the big picture.

Dee:  Oooh, I have an idea.  What if we make fan-themed t-shirts, and then we sell the t-shirts to a group of dedicated fans who all sit in one section…..

Dennis:  Dee, SHUT UP!  We need some ideas that won’t cost a lot, but ideas which we can throw a sponsor on top.  Generic stuff—autograph sessions from whoever contractually owes the Mets an appearance, batting cages, behind-the-scenes tours—blah, blah, blah. We can let fans “host their own press conference.”

Mac: (laughs) What does that even mean?  Host their own press conference?   Like, pretend they’re the manager? “Uh, yeah, we’re just gonna try to get ‘em next game.”

Dennis: Exactly!  Pathetic, but budget friendly.

Charlie:  oh, oh, how about a  “Steal Home Challenge.”  Fans run in a straight line to a base. No intrigue. No stakes.  The Mets probably have a base lying around we could borrow.

Dennis:  Budget friendly.  I like it.  Add it to the list.

Dee:  Ooooo, I got it. A mini-museum.  Take a trip down Mets memory lane at the “Meet the Mets Memorabilia”

Dennis:  That’s not bad.  And budget friendly.  Charlie, write that down and get a sponsor for it.

Charlie:  I thought the Mets got rid of the museum and turned into a store?

Mac: (excited):  Oh, what about….we present a design for a casino.

Dennis:  A casino?  What are you talking about?  What does a casino have to do with fans of a baseball team?

 

Act 5  Interior: Citi Field – Amazin’ Day

Fans are cold and disappointed in the autograph lines, and are complaining that there isn’t really that much to do but pay for food and run a stolen base line.

Mets Executive: (furious)   What the hell is going on here?! Fans are flooding my phone! They’re furious about the autograph sessions, and—God help me—Dee’s “improved” uniforms!

Dennis: (grinning smugly) It’s called innovation.

Mets Executive: Innovation?  I just got an email that one of the “meet the players” booths had Frank charging $50 for selfies while pretending to be Keith Hernandez!

Dennis: (calmly) Genius in action.

Mets Executive: You’re banned from Citi Field forever.

Charlie: (shrugging) Eh, we’ve been banned from better places.  Add it to the list.

 

My friends the Mets think they know how to throw a fan fest.  Here’s the really vague details they shared.

NEW YORK METS TO HOST AMAZIN’ DAY AT CITI FIELD

Fans can meet alumni and current players, take a swing in the batting cages, go behind-the-scenes at Citi Field and so much more on Saturday, January 25

FLUSHING, N.Y., January 23, 2025 –The New York Mets will host Amazin’ Day presented by Coors Light, Guardian and New Era at Citi Field on Saturday, January 25. This ultimate fan fest will give Mets fans the chance to experience the excitement and ramp up to the 2025 season in a completely new way. Attendees will get a chance to meet their heroes, grab their signatures, get exclusive access to usually restricted areas of the ballpark, hear from Mets leadership and make memories that will last a lifetime. In one of the largest offseason gatherings in Mets history, over 50 players, alumni and prospects are expected to be in attendance at Citi Field. Although General Admission tickets are sold out, a limited quantity of VIP tickets are still available atMets.com/AmazinDay.

“Every fan I’ve spoken to this winter can’t wait for the 2025 season to start,” said Mets President of Business Operations, M. Scott Havens. “The entire NY Mets organization has been hard at work this offseason to connect with our fans and do something meaningful for them, which is how Amazin’ Day came to fruition. Our fans bring a special kind of energy and magic to Citi Field, and we’re looking forward to seeing their excitement at Amazin’ Day as we show them a special preview of the 2025 season and celebrate this iconic franchise.”

As part of the highlights of Amazin’ Day, fans will be able to meet players and alumni during autograph sessions and hear from them during live panel discussions. Fans can also go behind-the-scenes to usually restricted areas including the field, bullpen, batting cages and clubhouses. There will also be an opportunity for fans to “host” their own press conference and snap photos in the official Mets press conference room.

SO FAR THIS IS ALL ABOUT HOW COOL THE METS AND M. DONALD HAVENS THINK THEY ARE.    THIS ISN’T ABOUT FANS SO FAR, IT’S ABOUT A SPONSOR.  WHAT ABOUT THE FANS?

Below are the planned activities for Amazin’ Day. Please note that activations are subject to change due to weather or other factors:

• VIP Experience presented by Citi*: As part of the VIP Experience presented by Citi, VIP Ticketholders will have access to a VIP reception featuring ownership, players, alumni, coaches and more in the Delta Sky360º Club. Additional VIP benefits include all-day access to the VIP lounge located in the Ownership Suite with appearances by players and alumni, a fast pass for autograph sessions, priority seating for stage programming featuring players, alumni and executives, and more.

 

LIKE WHO?  WHICH PLAYERS????  WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL US?

*VIP Package Tickets needed for VIP Experience presented by Citi and can be purchased onMets.com/AmazinDay.

• Autograph Sessions: Each general admission event ticket comes with a separate ticket in the Ballpark App to an autograph session that begins one hour after the start of fans’ entry time.

LIKE WHO?

 

• Stage Programming presented by Cadillac: Programming for the day will include panel discussions with players and alumni, fireside chats with Mets leadership, live gameshows and more. Access to Stage Programming presented by Cadillac is first-come, first-served. Amazin’ Day VIPs will receive priority seating for programming.

LIKE WHAT? SURELY YOU KNOW 48 HOURS OUT WHAT THE PANELS ARE.  TELL US.

• Clubhouse Activations: Take a swing in the batting cages presented by Mets Fantasy Camp and enjoy a behind-the-scenes look into the clubhouses with self-guided tours. Additionally, fans can stop by the Topps booth in the visitors’ clubhouse and get their picture taken for their very own Topps Baseball Card.

MORE ABOUT THE SPONSOR THAN THE FANS

• Coors Light Beer Garden & Guardian Alumni Meet and Greet: Fans can enjoy a cold beverage, play some games and even stop by the Guardian Alumni Meet and Greet to take a photo with a Mets legend.

WHAT LEGEND?  WHY CAN’T YOU TELL US?  ALSO MORE ABOUT THE SPONSOR THAN THE FANS

• Coca-Cola Food Hall: Fuel up for a day of excitement with your favorite ballpark eats at the Coca-Cola Food Hall in the Clover Home Plate Club.
• Sponsor Activations: Fans will get to experience exciting activations from our partners including New Era, Kendra Scott, Tunnel to Towers Foundation, Otis & Finn Barber Shop, Formaggio, Raising Cane’s, Gin & Juice, Sprinter Vodka Soda, and more.

DID I MENTION THIS MORE ABOUT THE SPONSORS THAN THE FANS

• Behind-The-Scenes Tours: Go behind-the-scenes at Citi Field with guided tours available throughout the day.
• Mets Mini Museum: Take a trip down Mets memory lane at our “Meet the Mets Memorabilia” pop-up.
• Press Conference Photo Opportunity: Take a photo on the official Mets press conference stage.
• Mascot Photo Opportunity: Take a picture with Mr. & Mrs. Met and other mascot friends throughout the day.
• Team Store Warehouse Sale: The Team Store will feature some of the biggest discounts of the year at the Winter Warehouse Sale.
• Bullpen & Stolen Base Activations: Fans can test out their arm and get a chance to pitch in the Mets bullpen. Then they can head over to the left field landing on excelsior level for the Steal Home Challenge presented by Mets Youth Baseball and Softball Camps.
• Virtual Batting Activations: Compare batting swings and stances to your favorite Mets player or alumni at the Mets Match Your Swing experience in either the Metro Market or in the K Korner. Then they can take a shot at the VR Home Run Derby located in the Metro Market.
• Fanatics Card Breaking: Experience the excitement of live sports card breaks with Fanatics Live.
• PSA Card Grading: PSA, the global leader in authentication and grading, will offer collectors a special opportunity to consult directly with our experts and submit their prized trading cards at Amazin’ Day.
• MLB the Show Tournament: Fans can show off their gaming skills and play MLB the Show with their fellow Mets fans.
• Ticketing Lounge: Learn more about 2025 Mets Ticket offerings at ticketing lounges throughout Citi Field.
• The MetPark Experience: A Special 360 Preview of Metropolitan Park: Steve Cohen and Hard Rock International are partnering with the local community to transform the area around Citi Field into a revolutionary sport and entertainment park that New York deserves. This reimagined space will bring together fans, neighbors, and visitors with a new 25-acre public park, world class entertainment, and unique dining experiences, as well as improved parking and transit infrastructure. Stop by the 360 Room to check out the future of Metropolitan Park.

A BILLIONAIRE AND HIS FRIENDS WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO HAND OVER PARKLAND TO A BILLIONAIRE TO BUILD A CASINO.  THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE FANS.

I am not impressed Mets.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT  

Jerry: So what’s this about new jerseys?

Steve: (excited) Yes! We’re completely redesigning them!

Jerry: But why? Everything was going so well.

Steve: (confused) Well?

Jerry: Yeah, people were happy with the Grimace and the third wild card…

Elaine: And Soto.

Jerry: (nodding) And Soto. The road jerseys were perfect.  Why would you mess with the road jerseys?

Steve: (leaning forward) Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… you don’t understand marketing.

Jerry: What’s to understand? The jerseys were fine.

Steve: (smirking) Exactly! They were fine. But you know what fine doesn’t do?

Elaine: Win games?

Steve: (ignoring her) Fine doesn’t sell new jerseys! Think about it – every fan already has our current jersey. But if we change them…

Jerry: (realizing) They have to buy new ones.

Steve: Now you’re getting it!

[Kramer bursts in wearing a prototype of the new jersey]

Kramer: These are gorgeous! And they come with a special QR code that lets you order McDonald’s right to your seat!

Steve: (proud) See? Innovation!

Jerry: So you’re changing perfectly good uniforms just to sell more merchandise?

Steve: (standing) Jerry, do you know how many jerseys we sold after signing Soto?

Jerry: A lot?

Steve: Exactly! And now all those people need new ones! It’s brilliant!

[Chad the social media intern calls Steve]

Chad: Mr. Steve! The jersey announcement tweet just hit 100,000 likes! And people are already complaining!

Steve: (excited) Perfect! Controversy creates cash!

Jerry: (to Elaine) Remember when baseball teams just tried to win games?