The Mets Police

Nice enough colors on this one, but high crown sucks.

What is even going on here?

Jon Hamm could wear this and would still look like a nerd.

I was driving through my hometown
I was just kinda killin’ time
When I seen a face staring out of a black velvet painting
From the window of the five-and-dime
I couldn’t quite recall the name
But the pose looked familiar to me
So I asked the salesgirl, “Who was that man
Between the doberman and Bruce Lee?” (Bruce Springsteen)

She said “Just a local hero”
“Local hero” she said with a smile
“Yeah, a local hero
He used to live here for a while” (Bruce Springsteen)

 

I met a stranger dressed in black at the train station
He said, “Son, your soul can be saved”
There’s beautiful women, nights of low livin’
And some dangerous money to be made (Bruce Springsteen)

There’s a big town ‘cross the whiskey line
And if we turn the right cards up
They make us boss, the devil pays off
And them folks that are real hard up

They get their local hero
Somebody with the right style
They get their local hero
Somebody with just the right smile (Bruce Springsteen)

 

Well, I learned my job, I learned it well
Fit myself with religion and a story to tell (Bruce Springsteen)

First they made me the king, then they made me pope
Well, then they brought the rope (Bruce Springsteen)

 

I woke to a gypsy girl sayin’ “Drink this”
Well my hands had lost all sensation
These days I’m feeling all right
‘Cept I can’t tell my courage from my desperation

From the tainted chalice
Well, I drunk some heady wine
Tonight I’m layin’ here, but there’s something in my ear
Sayin’ there’s a little town just beneath the flood line

Needs a local hero
Somebody with the right style
Lookin’ for a local hero
Someone with the right smile (Bruce Springsteen)

Famous baseball pitcher Matt Harvey, called by many “The Next Seaver” because Mets fans never overreact, has retired,

On Instagram, The Dark Knight said he ” pitched to win. To fire up my team and more importantly, to fire up the fans in a city that I’ve always loved.”

“With all the amazing memories came a lot of injuries and tough times,” Harvey wrote. “The realization that those amazingly powerful moments that make me thrive as a pitcher and help my teammates and city win are no longer possible.

“Believe me I wish I could have done more and brought more of those amazing moments back to life. I have to say this is my time to say thank you, and goodbye.”

Matt chose Cinco de Mayo, perhaps because of his known love of Mexican food.  Long time fans of The Real Deal remember that he once overslept back in 2017. Page Six had reported

The “Dark Knight” was celebrating a late Cinco de Mayo at 1Oak until 4 a.m. Saturday — just hours before he failed to show up for a game at Citi Field, reportedly because of a “migraine,” sources said.

Harvey — who makes $5.1 million and is 2-2 with a 5.14 ERA this season — rolled up on the velvet rope club “with his boys” at about 1 a.m. and settled into a private table, the sources said.

The star pitcher threw back a triple play of top-shelf booze, including Armand de Brignac “Ace of Spades” Champagne, Don Julio 1942 tequila and Belvedere vodka, witnesses said. (via Page Six)

After leaving the Mets, Harvey bounced around, including a stint with the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles where then General Manager Billy Eppler thought it was a good idea to pay Matt $11,000,000 after a season in which TDK was 7-9 with a 4.94 ERA.  Matt rewarded Billy’s wisdom with a 3-5 season and an ERA of 7.09

Matt’s final stats line 50-66, a 4.42 ERA and 687 strikeouts, leaving him more than 250 wins behind Actual Tom Seaver.  He finishes with an average WAR of negative 0.1 meaning you might be slightly better off with me pitching out there.

We here at Mets Police would like to thank Matt for all the downloads and easy jokes, and hope that he becomes best friends with Pete Davidson and eventually dates a Kardashian or Meghan Markle.