The Equipment Truck

INT. CITI FIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

[Jerry and Steve are standing near the equipment truck. Mr. and Mrs. Met are loading boxes]

Jerry: So this is it, huh? The annual tradition of false hope leaving for Florida?

Steve: (defensive) Hey, this year is different! We’ve got Soto!

Jerry: Yeah, and last year you had “discussions” with Ohtani. And the year before that you were “in” on Judge.

Steve: This is real! We actually signed him!

Jerry:  Sure, but you lost Alonso. It’s like trading your car for a better stereo system.

Steve: (defensive) The fans love the stereo system!

Jerry: Until they realize they have to walk to the games.

[Mr. Met struggles with a box marked “World Series Dreams”]

Jerry: You might want to ship that one ground.  You know, for a guy with such a big head, he’s not very strong.

Steve: (ignoring Jerry) Look at this, The kids from the hospital wrote letters to the players.

Jerry: (reading one) “Dear Mets, please don’t finish third again.”  I don’t think that’s from a kid.  That’s probably from that guy with the…..

Steve: (snatching the letter) Give me that!

Chad, the Mets social media intern

[Chad the social media intern runs up with his phone]

Chad: Mr. Steve! Should I tweet that the truck is heading to Florida with #LGM or #LFGM?

Steve: (sighing) Just post a picture of the Grimace waving goodbye to the truck.

Jerry: (incredulous) The Grimace isn’t even here!

Steve: (winking) The fans don’t know that.

Jerry: You really think Mets fans are that stupid?

Steve: (smugly): Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… we finished in third place last year and distracted these idiots with a purple McDonald’s mascot and a song.  We even let a cyrpto-scammer throw out the first pitch.  Boy, let me tell you how viral that went.  Two million views!

Jerry: So did the video of Mr. Met falling down the stairs.

Steve:  Jerry, these people, they love the viral stuff.

Jerry: And they fell for it?

Steve: Fell for it? They bought Grimace t-shirts! They made TikToks! They forgot we lost to Oakland!

Jerry: You lost to Oakland?

Steve: See? Even you forgot! That’s the power of marketing, Jerry. Who needs wins when you have viral moments?

[Steve makes a motion like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat]

Steve:  Jerry, it’s like this.  L.A. signs someone…abracadabra….we’re retiring David Wright’s number!  Everyone’s happy again.

Jerry: So your whole strategy is just… distraction?

[Elaine arrives]

Elaine:  I thought you’d be inside. What are you all doing out here in the cold?

Jerry: Watching the annual migration of false hope to Florida.

[Mr. Met drops a box labeled “World Series Plans”]

Jerry: Well, that’s symbolic.

Steve: (to Mr. Met) Be careful with that!

Elaine: Hey, why wasn’t Soto at Amazin’ Day?

Steve: (defensive) He couldn’t get a plane.

Elaine: He couldn’t get a plane? The guy making $500 million couldn’t find a plane?

Steve: (more defensive) It’s very complicated, Elaine. There are… logistics involved.

Jerry: What kind of logistics? It’s a plane. You get on it, it takes off, you land. Besides, don’t you have a plane?  You were the one flying off to Japan pretending you were going to sign one of the big Japanese free agents.  You couldn’t send your plane?

[Driver and Mr. Met approach with a box]

Driver:  Boss, what should we do with these Pete Alonso jerseys?

Steve (dis-interested):   Ehhh…put them in the storage unit on Roosevelt with the stuff from the old museum.

[Chad runs up with new tweets]

Chad: Mr. Steve! People are asking why Soto couldn’t make it to Amazin’ Day!

Steve: (irritated) Tell them he was… practicing! Yes, he was practicing.

Jerry: Practicing what? How to find an airport?

[Chad’s phone buzzes]

Chad: Mr. Steve! The Grimace tweet is going viral! Should I add something about the dance team, or do you want me to push the Hello Kitty bobblehead?

Steve: (excited) Both! And mention we’re bringing back the black jerseys!

Jerry: Black jerseys? You just announced Blue  Jerseys last weekend!

Steve: (smugly) Exactly! Keep them guessing!

[The truck driver approaches]

Driver: We’re ready to go. Just need someone to sign off.

Jerry: (to Steve) You know, most teams just quietly send their equipment to Florida.

Steve: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… where’s the sponsored marketing opportunity in that?

[The truck starts pulling away  Mr. and Mrs. Met wave goodbye while doing a synchronized dance]

Jerry: (to Elaine) Remember when baseball was just about baseball?

Steve: (checking his phone) Hey, we’re trending! #MetsEquipmentTruck2025!

 

2025 Mets Batting Practice Caps

These are on the MLB Shop.

The New York one isn’t atrocious, although putting a city name on a cap is too much.  That said, it’s probably wearable as a civilian.

The other one is atrocious.

I assume the New York one is for road BP.   What are we even doing?

Section 131

Logline:

Deep in the heart of Citi Field, a secret society of die-hard Mets fans operates from their seats in  Section 131. Their mission? Absolute loyalty—not just to the team, but to their chosen leader, Francisco Lindor, and his sacred thumbs-down gesture. Under the ruthless guidance of an enigmatic T-shirt mogul (Michelle Yeoh), they fight for control over the fanbase, the stadium, and the very soul of Mets fandom. Their ultimate goal? To turn Flushing Meadows Park into a casino, sabotage the Mets’ uniforms, and rewrite the rules of what it means to be a true fan.

Tone & Style:

A mix of Star Trek: Section 31, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and The Sopranos, this show blends espionage, underground power struggles, and baseball absurdity. Section 131 treats Mets fandom like a secret society, where T-shirts hold more influence than front-office decisions and stadium loyalty is enforced like a mafia code.

Core Characters:

Madame Y (Michelle Yeoh) – The shadowy leader of Section 131. A ruthless entrepreneur who built an empire on bootleg Mets T-shirts, she manipulates the fanbase with limited-edition drops and secret pre-sales.

Vinny “Numbers” Falcone – A self-proclaimed analytics genius who treats Mets fandom like a Pentagon war game. He has spreadsheets predicting the ideal moment to start a “Let’s Go Mets” chant, an algorithm that proves Daniel Vogelbach should be fast, and a conspiracy board linking the Wilpons to every Mets misfortune since 1986.

Big Dom – The enforcer, muscle, and undisputed king of the Citi Field parking lot. His tailgates are legendary—half BBQ, half military strategy session. . Dom speaks almost exclusively in Mets references (“That guy’s loyalty is shakier than Johan Santana’s shoulder”) and believes the key to a World Series is more meat. He once put out a call for a “Code Orange” (aka an emergency beer run) and had 30 fans show up with coolers in under five minutes.

Lisa “The Scalper” Ortega – The black-market ticket dealer who ensures Section 131 always has prime real estate at road games, even if it means hacking Ticketmaster. She can manipulate Ticketmaster’s queue with the precision of a Wall Street trader, which has brought the unwanted attention of a notorious billionaire.

• Kiefer Blackstone – The propaganda chief, running Section 131’s underground media operation. He floods Twitter, Reddit, and podcasts with disinformation campaigns, rogue highlight edits, and targeted smear campaigns against Mets enemies. He once convinced the internet that Pete Alonso demanded Citi Field be renamed “The Polar Grounds” and got it trending for a week.

Key Objectives:

Canonize “LFGM” – Section 131 refuses to let MLB sanitize Mets culture. They will make “Let’s F***ing Go Mets” the only acceptable version of the rally cry..

Loyalty to Francisco Lindor – The thumbs-down is their sacred salute, a symbol of defiance against Mets fans. Anyone caught booing Lindor will face immediate exile.

The Flushing Meadows Casino Project – The ultimate endgame. They don’t just want a team—they want an empire. And that empire starts with a casino rising from the ashes of Flushing Meadows Park.

Sabotage the Mets Uniforms – They’ve already succeeded in reintroducing black into the color palette. Now they’re eliminating colors entirely, pushing for a sinister all-blue road jersey and working their way toward the final, terrifying goal: monochrome Mets.

Why It Works:

Section 131 is a hilarious, chaotic, and slightly sinister love letter to Mets fandom, capturing the passion, pettiness, and insanity that defines the blue and orange faithful. With Michelle Yeoh as the calculating mastermind and a cast of unhinged baseball loyalists, this series turns Citi Field into a battlefield where the real fight isn’t just for wins—but for control of the narrative, the merch, the uniforms, and the fate of Flushing.

Here are the 2025 Mets new road jerseys

It’s still unclear which jersey this replaces as you’re only allowed 4 plus City Connect….and I stand by what I have been saying about the lettering.  Because they didn’t fill in the orange, they will be illegible from more than 5 feet away.  An unforced error and really really solvable.

At least they aren’t black.  The Mets have done far worse things in their life, but this are kinda unnecessary, especially when the traditional road jerseys are perfect.

Images via @mets

Note the design has left handed and right handed versions so you can see the sponsor tag on TV.   Unifoms should be….uniform, no?

Boooooo

And for younger fans, the Mets wore this lettering for one season, the ill-fated 1987.   May all the demons from 1987 visit Lindor, who you may remember, booed the fans, an unforgivable sin.

Even Tom Seaver wore one during his almost-comeback.