Happy Metsivus Mets fans. It is an annual tradition that on Metsivus we have the Airing Of Grievances. This is an opportunity for all of us to cleanse our souls of any pain in preparation of the new year.
I will begin.
1. Terry Collins
Will you stop messing with Murph please? He bats second and plays second. He’s the most reliable thing you have. Just print out 162 scorecards with MURPHY-4 on them in the 2-spot and then work the rest out. You are already talking about batting him 6th. Grrrrr.
2. Matt Harvey
Bro, listen to me. Dial it the (bleep) back. Don’t go on Bloomberg talking about how you want to build your brand. Pitch well and you’ll have a giant Nike billboard on the side of a building in midtown. I don’t care about the supermodels and the travel and the fancy cars. I encourage you to go Full Namath. However, you’re coming across as you are focused on The Big Payday. Just pitch, the money will find you.
3. Gary Cohen
Gary, just acknowledge The 7 Line Army. Howie does it. Josh does it. Kevin did it when he subbed. When they show 500 fans wearing t-shirts and the booth goes completely silent until the camera changes it looks ridiculous.
4. David Wright
Via twitter, Albert has called out David Wright.
5. The ticket office
I call out the ticket office for undercutting the loyal ticket buyers. Too often last year I was paying $35 to sit upstairs while there were various 2 for 28 and 4 for 48 deals…and the $5 special in April. The net effect, the Mets have trained me NOT to buy tickets in advance so I did not renew my ticket plan.
I will have a respectful discussion with Mets Executives at the Queens Baseball Convention’s Meet The Mets Executives Panel on January 10th, but today is Metsivus so I just get to be grouchy.
6. Fred, Jeff and Saul
No Metsivus would be complete without calling out “The Wilpons.” I highlight Saul Katz because he gets to be less visible than his cohorts. But between endlessly bad baseball and this mall thing….grrrrrr.
7. Saturday Night Games
Supposedly the Mets’ research told them people like Saturday Night Baseball. In April. And September. No. No we don’t.
8. The Loyalty Oath
Remember the “Open Letter” that Keith didn’t know about and Ron said he approved without paying enough attention? Did you pledge your loyalty?
9. Illegal undershirts
The reason there is a uniform is so that it is uniform. The rules clearly state that the undershirt must be either the team’s primary color or heather gray. David Wright’s orange tee is neither.
Which brings us to
10. Joe Torre
Wear the caps.
11. High Crown Caps
Can we stop making all head-gear twenty feet tall? I look ridiculous in basically any modern cap.
12. Unnecessary alternate/holiday/cash-in caps
13. Security Theater
All MLB Parks will require all fans to go through metal detectors in 2015. As you know, hundreds of baseball fans are killed every year in incidents that would have been preempted by a metal detector.
This threat is so large that once MLB recognized the imminent danger they gave teams until the following season to enact better security. It’s either a threat or it’s not…and I say it’s not.
Be prepared for lots of upset fans who miss first pitch on Opening Day.
14. People that don’t vote for Mike Piazza
How is this guy not a Hall of Famer? Flip over the baseball card.
And finally….
15. Murph Haters
Daniel Murphy, All-Star second baseman. You teenagers can take your advanced stats and your AA prospects and stick them in your alt-cap. Murph rules.
Feel free to air your own grievances, and enjoy #metsivus
