Thank you for reading Mets Police from time to time! As I try to make my blog different than the others, I have collected my own way of speaking and my own set of inside jokes. I thought it might be helpful to catch everyone up.
In no particular order…as I think of them.
WAGS
Wags is a character on the TV show Billions. He usually dresses sharp and is very confident. Some people think I am talking about Mets GM Brodie Van WAGenen when I mention Wags but I am totally not. I’m just talking about a fictional character on a TV show who may be hooking his ex-clients up as part of a…..
LONG CON
A long con is something that was run by the fictional character Sawyer on the TV show Lost. Swayer would dress nicely and pretend to be something he was not for years at a time, all to set up the big score in the end. One could see Sawyer hooking up his ex-clients and then returning to the place where he used to work. In a fictional universe of course. Nobody is actually running a long con.
OLD BEN CANOBI
This one is brand new. The Mets announced an Obi Wan Canobi bobblehead.
In the original Star Wars, someone says Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke wonders if they mean Old Ben Kenobi. Well, since Cano is 36…I wonder if the Mets signed Old Ben Cano(bi).
TDK
TDK = The Dark Knight. Matt Harvey. The name originates from a Sports Illustrated cover that called him The Dark Knight, and Matt kinda let it get to his head.
No he’s not on the Mets but he’s still awesome to goof on.
THE VIRUS
If you’re on twitter you probably know about “Virus Guy.”
If not – there was someone on twitter who if you mentioned Jose Reyes would write you and tell you that Reyes was a virus who would kill your team.
The guy would switch accounts like once a week. Relentless.
At some point I decided to lean on it and stop using #7s name, and now almost exclusively just refer to him as The Virus because I find it funny to the point where on the video game Super Mega Baseball 2 I have created a shortstop who wears 7 and the guy’s name is First Name The, Last Name Virus.
THOR
Really? You sure this is the right blog for you? Anyway Thor is Noah Syndergaard, who has long blond hair and…look this may not be the right blog for you
…IS ON HIS WAY TO MODELL’S RIGHT NOW
There’s this guy Media Goon (@mediagoon). He is my cousin. He used to write for this site. He has a LOT of jerseys. I mean a LOT. There is no jersey ever sold that he didn’t buy four of, including a Game Used version. You have Monkees Night at you minor league game and he will buy a Peter Tork autographed game worn jersey and probably a base.
So, any time the Mets sign a new player, I will roll out the joke that Media Goon is on his way to Modells to buy the jersey.
Sorry Media Goon, 11 years of posts and that’s the only image of you I have. Smile for the camera.
MICKEY HODGES
About a year ago, Dom Smith was late. Mickey Callaway sat him. Howie Rose declared it to be Mickey’s “Hodges Moment.”
(MANAGER NAME HERE) WATCH WATCH
A watch watch is when the blog is watching to see what others are saying about the potential of the manager being fired. So say the newspaper writes “Mickey on short leash” – that would be a watch watch. A full Watch doesn’t start until shortly before the manager is fired. You can usually see it coming.
AT LEAST WE ALL GOT T-SHIRTS
This is a dig at everyone and anyone who thinks it was smart to let Johan Santana throw a million pitches chasing the no-hitter. After the no-hitter there was all sorts of NOHAN march sold. However, it effectively ended Santana’s career. A related inside joke is I HOPE HIS FOOT IS OK because there are fools out there who think the no-hitter isn’t want ended Santana’s career but rather him adjusting his mechanics three weeks later after someone stepped on his foot. Or something Yeah OK.
T-SHIRTS ON SALE AFTER THE GAME
It’s a multi-facted reference. Basically, if anyone does anything the least bit good in a game then either the Mets or the younger less-official Darren Meenan would quickly have an opportunistic t-shirt design. This doesn’t actually happen in real life, but it’s entertaining.
By the way, look at that picture of Matt. Does it not make you want to make fun of him?
SOCKS
Want to know what you are looking at? Those are Matt Harvey’s socks. Last year he showed up at Spring Training with MH33 socks. And you wonder why I make fun of him.
The T-SHIRT GUY (TTSG)
The T-Shirt Guy or TTSG is Darren Meenan, owner of The7Line. We are friends. I could text him right now. I know his name. I usually just call him The T-Shirt Guy for various reasons including that my mom always gets his name wrong like she’s the mother in law on Bewitched. She’ll ask how Durwood is doing….that kind of thing. So I like saying The T-Shirt Guy or TTSG for short.
THE STONECUTTERS
The Stonecutters are an elite group in Springfield who own baseball teams and have access to the mayor’s office which helps them get their real estate deals done. They don’t actually care if the Isotopes win or not, as long as they can build whatever they want across from Duff Stadium.
THE MSM (Main Stream Media) and THE AAIMBR (The Amazin’ Apple Insiderized Mets Blog Report)
The MSM, or the main stream media, are all the “official” people. These could be a WFAN host, or someone writing for a newspaper. These people usually have no idea whatsoever what it’s like to be a fan and only it in the press box. Their takes on players are usually awful (Daniel Murphy says hello).
The AAIMBR is an amalgam of several fan blogs out there. Two of these blogs both have 50+ writers on their masthead, and one once claimed to have 5 million page views every month. Their content mainly consists of game recaps and the occasional “grade” posts.
THE MORNING LAZINESS, NOT LINKING and SLACKISH REACTION
Adam Rubin used to write the Morning Briefing. When he stopped, I started doing my own spin on it. However, whereas Adam would link to stuff, I don’t. I quickly summarize to save you time. An example might be “Mets send down RP, call up other RP.” Do you need a full article? The AAIMBR says yes, I say no. The one sentence gets it done. So when someone writes a useless article I do some NOT LINKING to it.
Also the AAIMBR is so original that they call theirs….Morning Briefing. Way to work hard and be original guys.
Adam would also stay up late and write a RAPID REACTION after games. I like to go to bed and write my SLACKISH REACTION around 6:15am. Then I go to the…
DONUTS CHAIN
One time, a national Donuts Chain reached out to me to do a promotion. I held up my end. They then ghosted me. I shall not say their name, although I am in their stores as a civilian non-blogger at least 7 times a week. I do like their iced coffee and am a known sell-out.
LYIN’ TODD FRAZIER (SAD)
I did a post about Todd’s t-shirt store. He blocked me. Then he unblocked me into Toddapalooza (the Williamsport Game) then he blocked me again the next day. So Todd and I don’t get along.
Then he admitted lying to umpires.
From there, add on a little Trump discussing Hillary…and you get Lyin’ Todd Frazier (Sad).
BACK TO YOU GARE
Gary Cohen once said Daniel Murphy was a Net Negative. Since Gare said that Murph has over and over had big moments in games which Gary is announcing.
Back in the day, Kevin Burkhardt would throw it back to Gary by saying “back to you Gare.”
Combine the two, and it’s a great dig at Gary any time Murph does something good.
…
Wow that’s a lot. I am sure I will think of more, and I will share them as I do.
Follow me on twitter @metspolice for more of these hilarious jokes.
