The Troll Toll


Kramer bursts into Jerry’s apartment with an urgent expression, catching Steve off guard as he’s engrossed in his phone.

KRAMER: Whoa, Steve, the social media team is getting pretty edgy.

Steve looks up from his phone, bewildered.

STEVE: (perplexed) Edgy? What are you talking about, Kramer?

KRAMER: The tweet, Steve! The one about the troll toll.

STEVE: (alarmed) Troll toll? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

ELAINE:  Oh, isn’t that from “It’s Always Sunny”? You know, “The Nightman Cometh“?

JERRY: (nodding) Oh, that show. Four losers hanging around doing nothing.

ELAINE (sings the lyrics): You gotta pay the troll toll, if you wanna get into that boy’s hole

JERRY:  Benes, what on earth are you singing?

ELAINE:  The Troll Toll.  The Nightman Cometh episode.  The one in which know….

STEVE: (frustrated) I didn’t authorize that tweet! How could they do this?


Steve sits behind his desk, furrowing his brow at his computer screen as David enters.

STEVE: David, come in. Close the door.

David steps inside, a proud grin on his face, holding a document in his hand.

DAVID: Hey, Steve! You’ve got to check this out. We unveiled the new lightshow for Edwin Diaz. It’s going to be a game-changer for our bullpen marketing.

STEVE: (raising an eyebrow)  That seems… a bit much, don’t you think?

David’s smile falters slightly, but he quickly recovers, still enthusiastic about the project.

DAVID: Oh, trust me, Steve. This is going to be huge. We’re talking next-level fan engagement here.

STEVE: (leaning back in his chair) But David, it wasn’t even a save situation. Why are we putting so much emphasis on Diaz?

David takes a deep breath, clearly ready to defend his idea.

DAVID: I get what you’re saying, Steve. But think about it from a strategic standpoint. The win probability of a scoreless 9th inning jumps to nearly 60%!.

STEVE: (skeptically) But David, let’s not forget one crucial detail here. We lost.  In fact, we haven’t won a single game yet this season.

DAVID: Oh, that reminds me, we have 4000 leftover rugby shirts from the giveaway. Looks like we didn’t get to 15,000 fans.  Should I give the extras  to Father Michael for charity?

STEVE: (nodding) I’ll take care of it.


STEVE: (enters, holding a box of rugby shirts) Father Michael, I’d like to donate these 4000 extra rugby shirts. Seems we have some leftovers.

FR. MICHAEL: (frosty) No thank you.

STEVE: No thank you?

FR. MICHAEL: Steve, if your social media team is going to tweet things about little boys, I don’t think I can associate with you anymore.

Steve’s expression changes from confusion to realization as he recalls the controversial tweet.



Kramer pushes his cart down the aisle, scanning the shelves for his favorite snacks. Suddenly, he spots Pete in the produce section, engrossed in a playful game of tossing oranges into his shopping cart.

Kramer stops in his tracks, his eyes widening in disbelief as he watches Pete’s antics.

KRAMER: (under his breath) What in the…

He stands there for a moment, utterly bewildered by the sight of the Mets player goofing off with fruit. After a beat, he shakes his head, chuckles to himself, and continues on his shopping journey, leaving Pete to his citrus-based shenanigans.


Steve strides purposefully through the bustling office, heading straight for the desk of the Social Media Intern, a young man named Chad, who’s fervently typing away on his computer.

STEVE: (clearing his throat) Chad, we need to talk.

Chad looks up, a bright grin on his face, eager to receive feedback from the boss.

CHAD: (excitedly) Hey, Mr. Steve! What’s up?

STEVE: (serious) I saw that tweet about the “troll toll.” It’s a bit… too much.

Chad’s grin fades, replaced by a look of confusion.

CHAD: But Mr. Steve, it’s edgy! It’s what the fans want!

STEVE: (shaking his head) Not our style, Chad. The Mets have an upstanding reputation to uphold. Our values are a little more restrained.

Chad nods reluctantly, understanding the feedback.

CHAD: Okay, got it. So, what do you think about this instead?

Chad swiftly navigates to another image on his screen, this time revealing a series of provocative photos featuring the new Mets dance team in sultry poses.

STEVE: (alarmed) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not that either, Chad!

Steve recoils slightly, trying to shield his eyes from the risqué images.

CHAD: (sheepishly) Oh, right. Maybe a bit too… spicy?

STEVE: (firmly) Definitely too spicy. We’re promoting a family-friendly environment here, Chad. Let’s keep it professional.

CHAD: (nodding fervently) Understood, Mr. Steve. I’ll find something more suitable.

Chad quickly closes the inappropriate images and scrolls through his files, searching for a more appropriate option.

CHAD: Okay, got it. So, what do you think about this instead?

Chad presents a new graphic on his screen, this time featuring a wholesome image of Mets fans enjoying a day at the ballpark, cheering on their favorite team.

STEVE: (smiling) Now, that’s more like it, Chad. Nice work.

Steve gives Chad an approving nod, pleased with the change in direction.

CHAD: Thanks, Mr. Steve! I’ll make sure to post this one right away. I just need to add a few tweaks.

STEVE: (smiling) You do that.  Good work.


Jerry is playing on his phone reading the Mets twitter account when he sees Chad’s new image of a group of Mets fans holding a banner.

JERRY: (sitting on the couch, engrossed in his phone) Oh boy.