Lost Mets

Yep, this is a rerun from the off-season, before all this black and white stuff and the temple and Jacob and all that – but it’s still fun and it’s my last chance to use it.

Gotta be honest, ESPN won’t get much out of me tonight.  Man I hate Sunday Night Baseball.  (The game is on espn3.com if you’re looking to keep an eye on it and watch Lost.)

Many Mets fans feel as if the franchise is Lost.  It seems as if we have been stuck in the middle of nowhere since before the Red Sox won the World series.   Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned.

Jack Shephard: the handsome, charismatic yet reluctant leader.  David Wright.  If anyone is to get us off the island, it will be David.

Sawyer: a cocky wisecracking flawed individual.  We’ll need one of these to get us off the island.  In retrospect it may have been Paul LoDuca.  In the present, it may be the return of Wally Backman.

Hurley: every generation needs a jolly big-man.  Whether it’s Sid Fernandez or Rusty Staub (or on other islands, David Wells), you need one of these.   Current Hurley: none.

Ben Linus: brought here by his father, he has been on the island for a long time.   Ben claims to have our best interest in mind, yet none of us trust him.   Controls everything on the island and his moves often seen to make no sense.  Jeff Wilpon.

Richard Alpert: the adviser to Ben.  Those on the island are told to trust him for his wisdom.  Richard is rumored to have had great success at an island called Montreal, which has since been abandoned.  Omar Minaya.

Mr. Friendly: seems friendly enough, and somewhat charismatic, however is working with Ben and Alpert to keep us stuck here.   Jerry Manuel.

Charles Widmore: a zillionaire who may be even more evil then Ben.   He wants the island but may not have the best intentions.  Charles Dolan.

Sayid: everyone likes and respects Sayid and he will kill the opposition.  Sayid does not trust Richard and Ben at all. Carlos Beltran.

Jin: Jim goes about his business, doesn’t say much, and is someone you want at your side when the battles happen.  Santana.

Desmond: Desmond has been on the island longer than many of the others, and we keep seeing glimpses of a happy future for him.  When we first met him he was working on his legs, then with a flash of light he unexpectedly disappeared.  We all hope to see that happy future for him.  Jose Reyes.

Charlie: at one time one of the most important characters.  Not really missed in retrospect.  Carlos Delgado.

Ana Lucia: well hyped with a big pedigree.   Ana Lucia was going to be a game changer in season 2.   She was quickly written out and winds up an after thought that didn’t advance the story one bit.   Pedro Martinez.

The Smoke Monster: a mysterious force that looks deep into flawed beings (or franchises) and calls them on the carpet for the stupid things they do.  To better yourself, you must face the smoke monster.

John Locke: a man of faith and wisdom who knows that one must embrace the past and embrace the island.  There is nobody to fit this role, and that’s why Mets fans are stuck here.

Mr. Eko: Mr Eko seemed like a Locke-type, but lasted only a season and change, before being written off forever.  Willie Randolph.

Ethan: he was one of the Others, and successfully got us to trust him.  Then he killed us.   Tom Glavine.

Rousseau: has memories of the island before things fell apart, and holed up near the radio transmitter for years.  Howie Rose.

Dr. Hanso: the man in charge of much of the construction on the island.  He will tell you things that just aren’t true, sometimes related to geometry.  David Howard.

Old Dharma Films: these choppily edited films dating back to the 1970’s may be trying to paint a rosy picture on everything, but they sure are charming.   Mets Yearbook.

Nikki and Paulo: insignificant minor characters brought in for no reason.   They didn’t add a thing to the puzzle, and it confused us that any time at all was invested in them.   Your choice of minor Omar Minaya moves.

Frank Lapidus: seems like the kind of guy who can pilot is off this island, but we still don’t know much about him.  He seemed reluctant to be part of our community, but we’ll need his skills.  Jason Bay.

Kate Austen: she’s the prize that Jack and Sawyer want.  Every time they think they have her, something goes wrong.  In this analogy, she’s the World Series trophy.  Get Kate and the fans are off the island.

The numbers: You must embrace 8, 16, 17, 18, 31 and 36.  These are the true numbers.  The sequence you follow 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 belong to the Bronx and Brooklyn.  Do not follow them.

…

Two new additions:

Dogen: an aging Japanese samurai who gives his best but is ultimately let down by those around him.   Takahasi.

The Man in Black. The Man in Black looks like someone you know, but the color black represents evil.  Blue and orange are the only true colors.  Beware of black shadows!