The Mets Police

Maybe what the Mets need is someone with Superior Intellect.

Khan is a veteran and demands respect from his players.

He is never one to give up.  It could be 10-2 in the bottom of the 9th and Khan will not give up the game and will say, “To the last, I grapple with thee. From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”  He’s Wally Backman in a bad mood.

All managers have to deal with Gelbs.  “Khan, how did it feel when the bullpen gave up that walk-off home run”

“Don’t insult my intelligence Gelbs,”

One downside to Khan is sometimes he isn’t as smart as he thinks,  A veteran manager might know something about the rulebook that Khan doesn’t know.  The last thing you need is Khan accidentally losing the DH in a big game.  I don’t think the Mets can afford to take such a big risk.

Will Khan manage the Mets? No.

Maybe what the Mets need is someone to distract the fans.

Hans Gruber is ruthless.  He won’t be afraid to bench players who aren’t doing well.  When a player comes to his office to complain Hans will tell them, “”You Can Walk Out Of Here Or Be Carried Out.”

Hans will have no time for Gelbs.

Hans will keep the fans confused with weird platoons, odd pitching changes, and the new team chant of Yippie Kay Yay LFGMFers which Pete Alonso and the Black Uniform people will love.   You will all eat it up and buy merchandise and renew your tickets.

In the end, the Mets will go 72 and 90 and by the time the fans realize it, Hans will have said to Steve, “”by the time they figure out what went wrong, we’ll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.”

I wouldn’t rule this one out….other than the Mets’ general stupidity.

Will Hans Gruber manage the Mets? No.

Maybe what the Mets need to do is bring in someone from outside the organization.

This move has worked in the past.  Keith Hernandez taught us how to win.  Tom Glavine was a True Met even if he was a little disappointed in the end.  Many of you worship at the altar of Famous Dodger and Donald Trump supporter Mike Piazza (zero rings btw), and who can forget the time Willie Randolph brought a new culture to the Mets?

The Phanatic is always entertaining, and who wouldn’t love to see him blow his tongue at Gelbs after a “how did it feel” question.

It will be a little weird at first, but I am sure by the ten game winning streak in mid-April everyone will be buying Amazin’ Phanatic t-shirts and canceling their comedy tours.

The only issue…I don’t think Phanatic wants to leave Philadelphia.  It’s a shame because he’s probably the best candidate for the LOLMets.

Will the Phanatic manage the Mets?  No.

Hello!  Been busy so didn’t get to address Zack Scott, but I guess I should.

Look, it’s 2021 and publicly facing enterprises aren’t going to stand for some things.  The Mets have enough of a circus without choosing to stand behind a guy coming off a 77 win season.  Maybe it’s fair, unfair, I dunno, I dunno what actually happened – but it’s a bad look and it is 2021.

Also, it does clear up before the upcoming meetings who is NOT the General Manager.  So that eliminates some confusion.

Any day now the Mets will hire their 13th choice and tell us she/he is the right person to lead the Mets to this new era of sustained success that is coming some day as soon as the Wilpons leave and we get a cool billionaire with an open checkbook.

Also, the Mets players hate their own fans so nothing else matters to me until all these players from Baez to the complict-in-silence deGrom and Pete Alonso are gone.  Be Gone, all of you Be Gone.