The Mets Police

My friends the Mets would like you to know…

METS EXTEND QUALIFYING OFFER TO OUTFIELDER MICHAEL CONFORTO & RHP NOAH SYNDERGAARD

 

FLUSHING, N.Y., November 6, 2021 – The New York Mets today announced they have extended a qualifying offer to outfielder Michael Conforto and RHP Noah Syndergaard.

 

Conforto, 28, has hit .255 with 141 doubles, 132 homers and 396 RBI over seven seasons with the Mets.

 

Syndergaard, 29, is 47-31 with a 3.32 ERA (265 earned runs/718.0 innings) in 121 games, 120 starts during six seasons with New York.

Maybe what the Mets need is someone with Superior Intellect.

Khan is a veteran and demands respect from his players.

He is never one to give up.  It could be 10-2 in the bottom of the 9th and Khan will not give up the game and will say, “To the last, I grapple with thee. From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”  He’s Wally Backman in a bad mood.

All managers have to deal with Gelbs.  “Khan, how did it feel when the bullpen gave up that walk-off home run”

“Don’t insult my intelligence Gelbs,”

One downside to Khan is sometimes he isn’t as smart as he thinks,  A veteran manager might know something about the rulebook that Khan doesn’t know.  The last thing you need is Khan accidentally losing the DH in a big game.  I don’t think the Mets can afford to take such a big risk.

Will Khan manage the Mets? No.

 

Maybe what the Mets need is someone to distract the fans.

Hans Gruber is ruthless.  He won’t be afraid to bench players who aren’t doing well.  When a player comes to his office to complain Hans will tell them, “”You Can Walk Out Of Here Or Be Carried Out.”

Hans will have no time for Gelbs.

Hans will keep the fans confused with weird platoons, odd pitching changes, and the new team chant of Yippie Kay Yay LFGMFers which Pete Alonso and the Black Uniform people will love.   You will all eat it up and buy merchandise and renew your tickets.

In the end, the Mets will go 72 and 90 and by the time the fans realize it, Hans will have said to Steve, “”by the time they figure out what went wrong, we’ll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.”

I wouldn’t rule this one out….other than the Mets’ general stupidity.

Will Hans Gruber manage the Mets? No.

 

Maybe what the Mets need to do is bring in someone from outside the organization.

This move has worked in the past.  Keith Hernandez taught us how to win.  Tom Glavine was a True Met even if he was a little disappointed in the end.  Many of you worship at the altar of Famous Dodger and Donald Trump supporter Mike Piazza (zero rings btw), and who can forget the time Willie Randolph brought a new culture to the Mets?

The Phanatic is always entertaining, and who wouldn’t love to see him blow his tongue at Gelbs after a “how did it feel” question.

It will be a little weird at first, but I am sure by the ten game winning streak in mid-April everyone will be buying Amazin’ Phanatic t-shirts and canceling their comedy tours.

The only issue…I don’t think Phanatic wants to leave Philadelphia.  It’s a shame because he’s probably the best candidate for the LOLMets.

Will the Phanatic manage the Mets?  No.