Look, I’m sire Lauren is lovely and great at what she does.  But look at this quote:

As a lifelong New Yorker and sports fan, I’m incredibly excited to join the New York Mets, an iconic franchise with such deep roots in New York City and baseball history,” said Hurvitz. “I look forward to partnering with this talented team to strengthen our connection with our passionate fanbase and the broader community.”

If you read my dopey blog, you are probably a Mets fan.  Is that how Mets fans talk?  It’s how corporate drones talk.  It’s how people who just want to get every dollar out of the fans talk.  I’m not sure it’s how Mets fans talk.

Here’s what I would have said:

“From meeting Tom Seaver as a young boy, to spending many a day in the Upper Deck at Shea Stadium, this is a dream come true!  To be able to be part of the New York Mets….blah blah thank Steve and Alex….”

But I’m a fan, not a hired gun.

Hopefully Lauren will murder the atrocious and useless Mrs. Met twitter account.

Also of note, this is yet another press release using phrasing like this: “Steve and Alex Cohen’s ownership.”  So when you thank Steve, or blame Steve….also thank or blame Alex.   Right now, she’s part of Team Blame for this failed five year mission.

 

 

NEW YORK METS NAME LAUREN HURVITZ AS SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT AND HEAD OF COMMUNICATIONS

 

Industry veteran joins franchise amid period of accelerated growth to elevate brand and strengthen fan engagement

 

FLUSHING, N.Y., October 1, 2025 – The New York Mets announced today that Lauren Hurvitz has been appointed as the organization’s Senior Vice President, Communications and a member of the senior leadership team. Hurvitz will join the organization on November 3, 2025.

 In this role, Hurvitz will oversee all aspects of the Mets’ communications strategy and public affairs. She will partner closely with senior leadership to strengthen the Mets’ brand and relationships with fans, media, and key stakeholders.

“We are thrilled to welcome a communications executive of Lauren’s caliber to the Mets,” said Lewis Sherr, President of Business Operations, New York Mets. “Her extensive experience in leading strategic communications for some of the world’s most visible and culturally significant brands will be invaluable as we build upon the unprecedented growth the organization has achieved under Steve and Alex Cohen’s ownership.”

“As a lifelong New Yorker and sports fan, I’m incredibly excited to join the New York Mets, an iconic franchise with such deep roots in New York City and baseball history,” said Hurvitz. “I look forward to partnering with this talented team to strengthen our connection with our passionate fanbase and the broader community.”

Hurvitz brings more than two decades of expertise in strategic communications, marketing, and public affairs from her senior roles at major media and entertainment companies, including Turner, Starcom MediaVest Group, AOL and MTV Networks. Most recently, Hurvitz was the founder of Bullet Point Advisory and has served as a strategic advisor to CEOs and executive management teams of global corporations, startups and advocacy groups on communications strategy, corporate marketing, crisis management and brand reputation.

Hurvitz received her bachelor’s from Duke University and MBA from Columbia Business School. She serves on the board of the Duke Annual Fund and PINK Concussions and is the proud mother of three Mets fans.

Steve Cohen addressed this season, which was year 5 of his plan to win “within three to five years” of taking over from the Wilpons.

I can’t really pile on here, he says it’s unacceptable.  That’s also the word I was use, thus we are aligned.

As for teh OBVIOUS REASONS Steve – you never had enough organizational innings to cover 7 months of baseball.  I tried to tell you many times.

Also, out the museum back the way it was.   You don’t need merch money that badly.  That’s the worst thing you’ve done as owner, and you’re the guy that brought black uniforms back.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – SUNDAY NIGHT

KRAMER: (panting) Pete Alonso just opted out!

STEVE: (spinning) What do you mean “opt out”?

KRAMER: Opt out! He’s gone. Out the door, through the turnstile, bye-bye birdie!

STEVE: (stammering) The season ended five minutes ago! The team isn’t even on the plane home yet! How can you opt out before the luggage is  loaded on to the plane?  Do I even get to make him an offer?

JERRY: (calmly) Well, we do know Pete doesn’t like to wait around for a good pitch.

STEVE: (to Jerry, panicked) Jerry, how much money do I have to pay these people?

ELAINE: (teasing) Maybe he just doesn’t like the dance team.

STEVE: (throwing his hands up) Dance team! We’re talking about the future of the franchise, and you’re talking about the dance team?

Steve drops into the chair, head in hands.

JERRY: (to Elaine) You know, the Mets are the only team where free agents run out the door faster than they run to first base.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – LATER

Steve, still worked up, pulls out his phone.

STEVE: That’s it. I’m calling him. I’m calling Alonso myself.

JERRY: (mock concern) Oh, big move. Careful, Steve. Don’t pull a hamstring scrolling to “A.”

Steve dials, waits… nothing. He redials. Still nothing. His face sinks.

STEVE: (muttering) He’s not picking up. He’s not picking up!

JERRY: (deadpan) Maybe he opted out of your contacts, too.

ELAINE: (grinning) Face it, Steve. It’s not you, it’s… well, no, it is you.

Steve slumps on the couch, staring at the phone like it betrayed him.

INT. CITI FIELD – CLUBHOUSE – MONDAY

The Mets are cleaning out their lockers. Reporters mill around, snapping pictures. Steve hovers nervously by Pete Alonso’s locker, which is strangely untouched.

STEVE: (looking around) Where’s Pete? Anybody seen Pete?

A young clubhouse assistant walks in carrying a cardboard box.

ASSISTANT: Uh, hey boss… Pete asked me to grab his stuff.

STEVE: (stunned) Grab his stuff? He sent you? He’s not even here?

ASSISTANT: (shrugs) Yeah. He said to make sure you get the note.

The assistant hands Steve a folded piece of paper. Steve fumbles it open. It reads simply: “Opted Out. – Pete.”

Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer, standing nearby with coffee, watch the whole thing.

JERRY: (deadpan) At least he wrote.  Ohtani didn’t even call.

ELAINE: (shaking her head) That’s cold. He didn’t just leave the Mets, he ghosted the Mets.

KRAMER: (nodding) Oh, he’s gone, Steve. Gone like a meatball at a buffet.

Steve crumples the note in his hand, muttering “The optics… the optics…”  

JERRY: (to Elaine, smirking) You know, they say players dream of walking off with a championship. Here, they just walk off into the sunset.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Jerry and Elaine are in the kitchen. Steve trudges in, shoulders slumped, looking defeated.

ELAINE:  (eyeing him) What’s wrong? You look like you just found out Aqueduct got the casino.

STEVE: (sighing) The Mets didn’t make the playoffs.

ELAINE: (surprised) Didn’t make the playoffs? How is that even possible? Don’t they have, like, three wild cards now?

JERRY: (mock disbelief) Three wild cards, and somehow you still couldn’t sneak in. You know why? Pitching. You didn’t have enough pitching.

STEVE: (snapping) That’s not true! I signed plenty of pitching!  46 different pitchers.  How many pitchers do you want me to sign?

JERRY:  Well, maybe one who was ready to pitch seven months without going over their career innings high.

ELAINE: You used forty-six pitchers in one season? Forty-six? Is that even allowed?  What did you do, try to collect the whole set?

Steve waves his hands defensively, growing flustered.

STEVE: (insisting) Forty-six pitchers is depth! Depth is good! You can never have too much pitching.

JERRY: (smirking) Oh yes you can.

The door BURSTS open — it’s NEWMAN, red-faced, seething, in a Mets cap pulled down low.

NEWMAN: (furious) You promised us a World Series! Three to five years, you said! THREE to FIVE!

STEVE: (backpedaling) Look…l get it.  I’m slightly disappointed myself.  We had a pretty good plan.

NEWMAN: (boiling) The only plan you had was to make us the laughingstock of baseball! Do you know what it’s like? Do you know what it’s like to sit in Section 131, night after night, watching relievers I’ve never heard of cough up lead after lead?

JERRY: (dry) I think we have a pretty good idea.

ELAINE: (grinning) Seriously, Steve. You didn’t build a rotation, you built a revolving door.

STEVE: (yelling) Enough! You think it’s easy? You think running a team is just signing Ohtani and Yamamoto and calling it a day?

JERRY: (shrugs) Worked for the Dodgers.

KRAMER:  I know some guys in Tokyo….

NEWMAN: (exploding) You wasted five years of my life. FIVE!

STEVE:  What about 2024?  We were the third wild card!  The Grimace!

JERRY: Oh there’s plenty of grimacing going on in Queens right now.

STEVE: (shouting back) Well maybe the next five years will be better!

The room goes silent. Steve realizes what he’s just said. Jerry raises an eyebrow.

JERRY: (smirking) So the three-to-five-year plan… is now a ten-year plan.

ELAINE: (grinning) And by then, you’ll be up to, what, seventy pitchers?

Steve groans and slumps into the chair as Newman glares. Jerry and Elaine exchange amused looks.

November 2020, Mets owner Steve Cohen:

“If we don’t win [a World Series] in the next three to five years, I’d consider that slightly disappointing.”