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Winning is for Losers

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT

Jerry: So, what’s going on with the Mets?

Steve: (casually) Nothing.

Jerry: Nothing?

Steve: Yeah, nothing.

Jerry: (confused) But I thought after Soto…

Steve: (interrupting, smug) We signed Soto and those idiots bought tickets. So now….. I do nothing.

Jerry: Nothing?

Steve: Yes Jerry, nothing. That’s how you make money. You sell a circus to fools.

Jerry: (skeptical) A circus?

Steve: (proud of himself) Did you not see the brilliance last summer with the Grimace?

Jerry: Yeah, but don’t you want to win?

Steve: (laughing) WIN?

Jerry: I mean, is the team even any better with Soto but no Pete Alonso?  Don’t you need more pitching?

Steve: (leaning back) WIN? Jerry, winning is for losers.

[Elaine enters]

Elaine: What’s he talking about now?

Jerry: Steve’s explaining his master plan of doing absolutely nothing with the Mets.

Steve: You know what happened when we signed Soto? We sold more season tickets than we have in years.

Elaine: So?

Steve: So why would I spend more money? These people will buy anything!

Jerry: But the team still needs pitching…

Steve: (interrupting) No, no. What the team needs is more promotional nights. We’re bringing back the Grimace!

Elaine: (checking her phone) Didn’t you just raise ticket prices again?

Steve: (grinning) Exactly! And they’re still buying!

[Kramer bursts in wearing a “Soto & The Grimace 2025” shirt]

Kramer: Steve! When are the Grimace bobblehead nights?

Steve: (to Jerry) See what I mean?

Chad, the Mets social media intern

[Steve’s phone rings, it’s Chad, the Mets social media intern}

Steve: I have to take this.

Chad: Mr. Steve! Great news! Our tweet about maybe bringing back the black jerseys got 50,000 likes!

Steve: (triumphant) You see? They don’t want championships, they want nostalgia and purple mascots!

Jerry: So this is your plan? Just… coast?

Steve: Coast? Jerry, I’m innovating! Next week we’re announcing a collaboration with Taylor Swift.

Elaine: What does Taylor Swift have to do with baseball?

Steve: (laughing) Absolutely nothing! But watch how many tickets we sell!

[Newman enters wearing a “Swiftie for Soto” shirt]

Newman: Hey Steve, is it true Taylor’s throwing out the first pitch?

Steve: (winking at Jerry) See? The circus sells itself.

Jerry: But what about actually improving the team?

Steve: (standing up) Jerry, while other teams are trying to win championships, I’m winning where it counts – in the bank. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go leak a rumor about Mr. Met dating a Kardashian.

Elaine: (shocked) Mr. Met is dating a Kardashian?

Steve: (smirking) Of course not! But tomorrow morning, that’s all anyone will be talking about.

[Steve exits as Jerry sits there, stunned by the pure cynicism of it all]

Jerry: (to Kramer) You’re not really excited about a Grimace bobblehead, are you?

Kramer: (dead serious) Are you kidding? I’m already in line! And I heard if you get there early enough, you get a limited edition Taylor Swift x Mr. Met friendship bracelet!

Jerry: (to Elaine) You know what’s worse than all of this?

Elaine: What?

Jerry: It’s actually working.

 

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Mets Juan Soto has the wrong goal

The goal should be to win a championship with the Mets. Preferably multiple.  I assure you if you win multiple WS you will find yourself in the Hall of Fame.  This is a mindset, that it’s not about YOU, it’s about the team.  Study David Wright if you need a mentor.

Meanwhile, was Steve’s off-season plan just to make his wife happy by bringing in a player she liked, and then put his feet up until someone hands him a public park?   Are the 2025 Mets right now (and a reminder they are minus Pete Alonso) better than the third place gimmick team from last summer?

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Mets retiring David Wright’s #5 and adding him to Mets Hall of Fame

Hello.  Obviously I have bee away from the blog for a few weeks, but now I am back from one of my MI6 Missions and wanted to catch up on this one,

Obviously great all around.  So refreshing that the Mets aren’t dilly-dallying with this and making DW wait until he’s an old man.  Obviously he deserves it (especially in the new Mets culture of retiring numbers left and right).  It also makes sense to add him to the HOF as well (too bad some idiot castrated the museum and turned it into a gift shop).  Also a point off for sticking a sponsor on this.  Steve has enough money, must EVERYTHING be for sale?  Can’t anything just be pure?

Also as nitpick – why does the Stadium patch diss the Polo Grounds?  (Despite what some of you think, I don’t walk around all day kicking dirt grumbling about how the patch doesn’t mention the Polo Grounds.  I move on with my day.  It’s just an observation.)

Another observation – is the biggest image of DW actually David, or what AI thinks David looks like, or an artist’s conception of David?

Another other observation – all the images they used are pinstripes.   No Pinless, no black, etc.  Very nice.

Anyway, nice job Mets.  Keep it up.

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Mets photoshop team brings their A game

Well this is a beauty.

Also the Mets were pretty slow yesterday on the Rickey news   If only there were some way to do posts via portable devices.

Anyway, who approved this?  Steve this tells me you guys are committed to quality, and the suites will be a first rate experience where every detail is meticulously considered for a first rate experience!

Have a Happy Metsivus